How do I get kids to bed on time? That is a very interesting question. But what is the right time to go to bed anyhow? This varies from child to child. I have always had one child who needed far less sleep than the others. And so it will be with every family because everyone is different and has different needs.
I have one teenager who needs at least eight hours sleep per night or he simply cannot function the next day and he knows it. This morning I was trying to have a conversation with him at 7am when he had just woken up for school. He turned and said to me, "Mum, I'm just not hearing anything. Save it for this afternoon when I am awake". At least he knows his limitations. He does not wake up easily in the mornings.
If we can help children understand the need for a certain amount of sleep that will certainly help us. But what about younger kids who just want to stay up late every night? How can we help going to bed become a nice, simple process without a battle of the wills?
1. Decide in advance what time bed time will be for each child. Remember that each child is an individual and you can give kids different bed times if you want with little or no explanation from yourself. You are the parent.
2. Make sure that stimulation slows down during the lead up to bed time. Your child cannot possibly be watching television or playing on the computer and then be expected to just switch off and lie still straight afterwards. Plan your wind down activities. Reading a book is always a great thing to do before bed to help prepare for sleep.
3. Give your child incentives to remain in bed at night. Bribery gets you everywhere. Sorry but it's true. And do you know, this is the way the adult world works also. If you work hard in your job, you will receive a bonus or perhaps a raise. Hard work gets acknowledged. I remember once at work I won employee of the Month and I received a $100 voucher to buy some sunglasses. My hard work paid off that month. What you can do is think of something special that you can do the following day and promise that if your child stays in bed they will get to do that special thing the next day. Children need to be able to equate great behaviour to great consequences. This will help them. It's OK to offer your child an incentive. And it is actually far better to give your child a good consequence for a great job than a punishment for a lousy job. If you can get in with the good things first your child will develop a healthy self esteem to last them through life.
4. Put something in writing with your child. If you do this there can be no ambiguity. They can even decorate their contract with you and laminate it for their bedroom wall. Then there can be no disagreements about the rules, especially if the children negotiated those rules with you in the first place. Children love to have a say in things and when you include them in the decision making process they will be much more likely to abide by the decisions that are made. They have a sense of ownership regarding it because they helped make the rules.
5. If your child does get out of bed for any reason, simply lead them back to their bed but do not engage them. Do not talk to them or give them any stimulation. Definitely do not have a conversation with them about why they should be in bed. They already know they should be in bed because you have made up a contract stating the facts. Your child just wants to know if you mean business and they will test you until they know your limits without a doubt. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile. Every time.
These are just a few tips to make bed time easier for parents and children alike. You can get your kids to bed on time if you persevere.
I have one teenager who needs at least eight hours sleep per night or he simply cannot function the next day and he knows it. This morning I was trying to have a conversation with him at 7am when he had just woken up for school. He turned and said to me, "Mum, I'm just not hearing anything. Save it for this afternoon when I am awake". At least he knows his limitations. He does not wake up easily in the mornings.
If we can help children understand the need for a certain amount of sleep that will certainly help us. But what about younger kids who just want to stay up late every night? How can we help going to bed become a nice, simple process without a battle of the wills?
1. Decide in advance what time bed time will be for each child. Remember that each child is an individual and you can give kids different bed times if you want with little or no explanation from yourself. You are the parent.
2. Make sure that stimulation slows down during the lead up to bed time. Your child cannot possibly be watching television or playing on the computer and then be expected to just switch off and lie still straight afterwards. Plan your wind down activities. Reading a book is always a great thing to do before bed to help prepare for sleep.
3. Give your child incentives to remain in bed at night. Bribery gets you everywhere. Sorry but it's true. And do you know, this is the way the adult world works also. If you work hard in your job, you will receive a bonus or perhaps a raise. Hard work gets acknowledged. I remember once at work I won employee of the Month and I received a $100 voucher to buy some sunglasses. My hard work paid off that month. What you can do is think of something special that you can do the following day and promise that if your child stays in bed they will get to do that special thing the next day. Children need to be able to equate great behaviour to great consequences. This will help them. It's OK to offer your child an incentive. And it is actually far better to give your child a good consequence for a great job than a punishment for a lousy job. If you can get in with the good things first your child will develop a healthy self esteem to last them through life.
4. Put something in writing with your child. If you do this there can be no ambiguity. They can even decorate their contract with you and laminate it for their bedroom wall. Then there can be no disagreements about the rules, especially if the children negotiated those rules with you in the first place. Children love to have a say in things and when you include them in the decision making process they will be much more likely to abide by the decisions that are made. They have a sense of ownership regarding it because they helped make the rules.
5. If your child does get out of bed for any reason, simply lead them back to their bed but do not engage them. Do not talk to them or give them any stimulation. Definitely do not have a conversation with them about why they should be in bed. They already know they should be in bed because you have made up a contract stating the facts. Your child just wants to know if you mean business and they will test you until they know your limits without a doubt. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile. Every time.
These are just a few tips to make bed time easier for parents and children alike. You can get your kids to bed on time if you persevere.
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