Mention a highly charged term like alpha female and a thousand different meanings pop into people's minds.
Everything from the aggressive, ambitious, corporate female executive to "Fatal Attraction".
So let me be clear.
I'm not talking about Thelma and Louise here.
I'm just talking about a woman who doesn't sit passively by waiting for Mr Right to show up at her door.
A woman at a party or social event who, instead of talking all night to some loser guy who's latched on to her, approaches the hottest guy at the bar and starts a conversation.
A woman who, when in a relationship, doesn't settle for disrespect or bad behavior from her partner, but tells him what she needs and expects to get it.
Basically, the alpha females of the dating world go after what they want instead of accepting what they get.
Right about now I probably hear you saying, "But I just want to be myself, and being an alpha female is not who I am".
Or "Why should I do all the work? I only want a guy who thinks I'm worth chasing after".
Ok, I hear you.
I am all about the man taking the initiative and being the one to make the moves.
But the world is changing and the old rules that men and women have lived by for the last 10,000 years are no longer valid, at least in the mind of a lot of guys.
Online dating, myspace, facebook, and twitter have blurred the lines of male/female interaction and have made it socially acceptable, and sometimes even expected, for women to be the aggressors, make the first move, and contact men.
There is also another problem to deal with.
In the real world, many guys are intimidated by these newly empowered women and are afraid of making the first move themselves.
Maybe they've been burned so many times in the past that they can't take the idea of another rejection.
Or maybe they just don't know how to approach women, or know what to say to her when they do.
So they end up doing nothing, and the women who want them to approach end up doing nothing as well.
Now there are a lot of good men out there, but sometimes to get the guy you want you need to help him get started.
While women may think they are sending out all the obvious approach signals to guys, sometimes you just have to go after what you want.
You can give him a big inviting smile and wave him over, approach him and make some off the cuff comment, or just simply say hi.
Once you get the ball rolling however, you need to step back a bit and see if he takes control.
If after a reasonable amount of time you end up doing all the work to keep things going, then you need to move on and find a man who gets it.
There are too many guys on the planet to waste your precious time babysitting some clueless guy through the whole dating ritual.
When you are in a relationship, being an alpha female is all about getting what you want.
And the key to getting what you want is to be direct.
Hints don't work.
A lot of women, for some reason, expect guys to know just what they want without having to say a word.
Guess what, they don't.
You need to tell them exactly what you want.
And not just once, mind you, but over and over repeatedly until one day it finally sinks in.
Alpha females understand this concept and are very tenacious about getting their needs and desires communicated and satisfied.
For many women, being a true alpha female is well outside their comfort zone, just like being an alpha male is difficult for many guys.
But like it or not, these are the people who aggressively go after what they want, and more times than not they get it.
Even if they don't, they usually end up better off than if they hadn't tried at all.
And sometimes thats good enough.
Everything from the aggressive, ambitious, corporate female executive to "Fatal Attraction".
So let me be clear.
I'm not talking about Thelma and Louise here.
I'm just talking about a woman who doesn't sit passively by waiting for Mr Right to show up at her door.
A woman at a party or social event who, instead of talking all night to some loser guy who's latched on to her, approaches the hottest guy at the bar and starts a conversation.
A woman who, when in a relationship, doesn't settle for disrespect or bad behavior from her partner, but tells him what she needs and expects to get it.
Basically, the alpha females of the dating world go after what they want instead of accepting what they get.
Right about now I probably hear you saying, "But I just want to be myself, and being an alpha female is not who I am".
Or "Why should I do all the work? I only want a guy who thinks I'm worth chasing after".
Ok, I hear you.
I am all about the man taking the initiative and being the one to make the moves.
But the world is changing and the old rules that men and women have lived by for the last 10,000 years are no longer valid, at least in the mind of a lot of guys.
Online dating, myspace, facebook, and twitter have blurred the lines of male/female interaction and have made it socially acceptable, and sometimes even expected, for women to be the aggressors, make the first move, and contact men.
There is also another problem to deal with.
In the real world, many guys are intimidated by these newly empowered women and are afraid of making the first move themselves.
Maybe they've been burned so many times in the past that they can't take the idea of another rejection.
Or maybe they just don't know how to approach women, or know what to say to her when they do.
So they end up doing nothing, and the women who want them to approach end up doing nothing as well.
Now there are a lot of good men out there, but sometimes to get the guy you want you need to help him get started.
While women may think they are sending out all the obvious approach signals to guys, sometimes you just have to go after what you want.
You can give him a big inviting smile and wave him over, approach him and make some off the cuff comment, or just simply say hi.
Once you get the ball rolling however, you need to step back a bit and see if he takes control.
If after a reasonable amount of time you end up doing all the work to keep things going, then you need to move on and find a man who gets it.
There are too many guys on the planet to waste your precious time babysitting some clueless guy through the whole dating ritual.
When you are in a relationship, being an alpha female is all about getting what you want.
And the key to getting what you want is to be direct.
Hints don't work.
A lot of women, for some reason, expect guys to know just what they want without having to say a word.
Guess what, they don't.
You need to tell them exactly what you want.
And not just once, mind you, but over and over repeatedly until one day it finally sinks in.
Alpha females understand this concept and are very tenacious about getting their needs and desires communicated and satisfied.
For many women, being a true alpha female is well outside their comfort zone, just like being an alpha male is difficult for many guys.
But like it or not, these are the people who aggressively go after what they want, and more times than not they get it.
Even if they don't, they usually end up better off than if they hadn't tried at all.
And sometimes thats good enough.
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