Divorce and Christianity in the Twenty-First Century

Johnny L. Dowell III, BS/PSY, MA.PSY

 

Abstract

            The topic of divorce among Christians has created much debate among many Americans. Societal stigma associated with couples contemplating a future divorce has added a significant amount of stress toward both parties involved. Faith within the marriage can prove problematic in certain circumstances. Comparisons among Christian literature and traditional secular approaches represent a challenging factor for counseling.    

 

 The Big Debate

      While the bible views provide clarity on the topic of divorce, modern society suggests divorce may occur in dire circumstances. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) state that any woman who separates from her husband must remain unmarried; this passage has created an issue with many Christian women. With the only possible option after separation from the husband, (reconciliation), wives experience difficulty moving forward to a legal divorce. In essence for the wife to dissolve a marriage even in dire situations where documented abuse occurs represent personal turmoil. Even with counseling, women more often than not juggle religion and human need to seek out happiness why holding on to faith.             Modern day women unlike those of biblical times play an intricate role in society compared to the centuries ago. A typical question often discussed with Christian counselor focus primarily with the disparity felt during divorce and separations. When discussing literature within the bible, counselors should give precedence not only to scripture but also in providing avenues designed to enlighten clients of possible recourses available. Recourses such as support groups and individual counseling can enhance recovery during times of indecision on how to proceed.

 

            Secular counseling sessions provide many of the same therapeutic options seen with Christian counseling techniques minus the spiritual aspects. Women that proceed without religion can display less stress compared to women that maintain a strong relationship with their religion. While it seems that secular counseling approaches produces a favorable outcome for the client, the question of the client faith goes unanswered which can leave doubt after completion of therapy. Thus while both approaches can serve the client, the Christian counselor concerns his/herself with the clients religious needs.             Another dilemma for women occurs when the husband initiates a divorce. (Matthew 5: 31-32) states that when a man divorces his wife he must provide a "certificate of divorce". However the divorce must occur under factual pretenses of adultery. What about any faithful woman who husband proceed with a divorce without implications of adultery? In this case, the woman suffers the indignity of ownership of the title of adulteress if she desires to enter into another relationship. In essence the holy bond exists even after the divorce for women. If a man encounters a divorce woman he there forth earns the title of adulterer. In a secular therapeutic session the biblical readings can possess little to no effect on select clients. Spiritual Clients that desire to remain faithful to religious belief can undergo extreme stress in dealing with personal issues related to moving forward with another relationship. For the secular counselor such issues rarely arise. However the Christian counselors have an obligation to address any concerns of the client seeking spiritual resolution. Group therapeutic sessions can provide valuable insight from cohorts experiencing similar issues.

 

            (Mark: 10:12) echoes the biblical belief that when a woman marries and divorces her husband, then later remarries, the second marriage constitutes adultery. The foundation of the New Testament serves to reflect the importance of marriage. So the question that many Christian females face today can in deed lead to disparity toward uncertainty when considering marriage. Many women seek out a husband that share religious belief. While marrying someone that shares in religious belief can lessen the chances of divorce, separation and divorce still occur. Secular Clinical Approach or Spiritual Counseling             While both disciplines seek to promote and preserve healthy relationships, the approaches to dealing with divorce significantly vary in degree. When a secular therapist encounters a client with minimal or no religious affiliation, counseling can proceed with greater acceptance from the client. The therapist feels at ease as a result of providing an atmosphere where a professional interaction can exist. The same therapist can become cognizant of his/her inability to perform satisfactory with clients of various religious backgrounds. To resolve this issue secular therapist and educators should familiarize oneself with religious information through available sources. Personal experience over the years has shown that when secular counselors embrace the word of god, a better understanding of others occurs. (Hebrews 1:6) encourages all God's angels to worship him. Through worshiping God even a secular counselor can gain strength through His (God) word, as seen with (2 Corinthians 5:20) that states we serve as ambassadors for God as we appeal to his teachings to others.

 

            Spiritual counselors welcome both religious and none religious clients. For clients that identify him/herself as a Christian, communication can take place using biblical scripture as a reference for solving issues within a marriage. For example, a couple that present with communication tribulations can find that scripture such as (Proverbs 15:1) which states a gentle answer turns away wrath while a harsh word stirs anger. This passage provides both parties an opportunity to observe how communication determines how well couples deal with problems that occur. It also provides incite into how words can impact the recipient. When a Christian counselor tackle issues for none religious members, seeking approval to utilize scripture can prove problematic at times. When such issues arise, the counselor should honor the client's wishes and proceed in an ethical manner to provide services.