Our country is in decline as a direct result of the shifting and often declining cultural values we have experienced over the years. Psychologists and family therapists ascertain that more and more people have become entitled and narcissistic. Abuse seems to be celebrated while abuse victims are shamed. Children are no longer safe in our schools as a result of people's unwillingness to admit to problems with bullies and make the necessary changes to ensure our children's safety. Young girls are being raped at parties and it's being videoed and uploaded on youtube. You can hear the crowds that is watching and sometimes participating in the sexual abuse cheering on the abusers while emotionally abusing the person being raped or gang raped calling them whores or worse.
We seem to encourage or demand that our young ladies be attractive, however, when they conform to that standard they are called whores. When a person is raped they are usually told they were "asking for it," they should not have been drinking or dressed provocatively. This is the wrong attitude for so many reasons it is appalling. Â The problem is not that someone is attractive and under the influence, the problem is the perception that uses that as an excuse to justify abusing another person. It is not OK for someone to force themselves on another person period, it doesn't matter what state of mind they're in, what they are wearing, or anything else.
Once someone overcomes the shame of having been abused they are subjected to demoralizing medical tests and an interrogation by law enforcement. Every time a victim of abuse has to recount their experience, they experience that abuse all over again emotionally. Then they are usually forced to defend themselves and convince others they did not invite the abuse and therefore "deserve it." Most victims of sexual abuse are emotionally traumatized; they miss school or work, become depressed, and in some more extreme cases develop PTSD or commit suicide. Many victims of sexual abuse require therapy or counseling of some kind as well as ample support from friends and family for recovery.
We have become so comfortable shaming victims of abuse it seems to be common practice for our children. Young girls can be cruel; they are hormonal, emotional, and many times insecure. This causes many girls to become emotionally abusive to attractive peers. Girls can become jealous and insecure when they see a pretty girl with their boyfriend or crush so they isolate that girl by starting rumors or bullying. Some girls have gone so far as to make up fake screen names or facebook accounts to trick peers into doing things they would like to keep private so they can use it to humiliate them.
 Young girls that have never had sex are called sluts and whores because they developed early and are attractive to their peers.  If a boy cheats on you he is not worth your time break up with him and move on. Boys do not like a crazy jealous girlfriend they will break up with you or cheat on you because they get treated like a cheater until they cheat or just break up with you. You and your partner have a commitment if your partner violates that commitment it is a reflection on their character or lack thereof, do not direct your anger at the person they cheated with unless they are supposed to be a friend.
Men can be victims of domestic violence and abuse too but many of them are so ashamed of being victimized by a woman they would rather endure it than admit to it. People act as if a man that is abused is not a "real man". Ninety percent of patients with borderline personality disorder are women and they abuse their partners.  A more comically intended example of this is shown in the movie Friday. Ice cubes character has a girlfriend that calls his house several times throughout the day and hangs up, so that she can check up on him and harass him. She stalks him, threatens violence to him and anyone that looks at him and is verbally abusive. This is abuse but it treated like an amusing characteristic of women that is annoying but acceptable.  This is abuse and it should not be taken as a joke this is the kind of perception that facilitates abuse and violence. I am using an example from the movie Friday but I am not attempting to insult the movie or anyone involved in the movie in any way this example is just an observation.
Everyone has the right to demand to have their humanity respected by not being abused. It is never ok to abuse anyone. There is never a legitimate excuse for hurting other people. Forcing yourself on others is never ok, nor is it ok to be passive bystander while abuse is going on much less reward abusive behavior. It is time we adjust our perceptions and attitudes; stop making excuses, rewarding, or cheering on people that abuse others. Change starts first and foremost within us then at home by modeling healthy nonjudgmental behavior as often as possible. It should always be made clear to everyone that it is never OK to intentionally hurt another person for any reason but self defense. Change your perception and your behavior changes too.
We seem to encourage or demand that our young ladies be attractive, however, when they conform to that standard they are called whores. When a person is raped they are usually told they were "asking for it," they should not have been drinking or dressed provocatively. This is the wrong attitude for so many reasons it is appalling. Â The problem is not that someone is attractive and under the influence, the problem is the perception that uses that as an excuse to justify abusing another person. It is not OK for someone to force themselves on another person period, it doesn't matter what state of mind they're in, what they are wearing, or anything else.
Once someone overcomes the shame of having been abused they are subjected to demoralizing medical tests and an interrogation by law enforcement. Every time a victim of abuse has to recount their experience, they experience that abuse all over again emotionally. Then they are usually forced to defend themselves and convince others they did not invite the abuse and therefore "deserve it." Most victims of sexual abuse are emotionally traumatized; they miss school or work, become depressed, and in some more extreme cases develop PTSD or commit suicide. Many victims of sexual abuse require therapy or counseling of some kind as well as ample support from friends and family for recovery.
We have become so comfortable shaming victims of abuse it seems to be common practice for our children. Young girls can be cruel; they are hormonal, emotional, and many times insecure. This causes many girls to become emotionally abusive to attractive peers. Girls can become jealous and insecure when they see a pretty girl with their boyfriend or crush so they isolate that girl by starting rumors or bullying. Some girls have gone so far as to make up fake screen names or facebook accounts to trick peers into doing things they would like to keep private so they can use it to humiliate them.
 Young girls that have never had sex are called sluts and whores because they developed early and are attractive to their peers.  If a boy cheats on you he is not worth your time break up with him and move on. Boys do not like a crazy jealous girlfriend they will break up with you or cheat on you because they get treated like a cheater until they cheat or just break up with you. You and your partner have a commitment if your partner violates that commitment it is a reflection on their character or lack thereof, do not direct your anger at the person they cheated with unless they are supposed to be a friend.
Men can be victims of domestic violence and abuse too but many of them are so ashamed of being victimized by a woman they would rather endure it than admit to it. People act as if a man that is abused is not a "real man". Ninety percent of patients with borderline personality disorder are women and they abuse their partners.  A more comically intended example of this is shown in the movie Friday. Ice cubes character has a girlfriend that calls his house several times throughout the day and hangs up, so that she can check up on him and harass him. She stalks him, threatens violence to him and anyone that looks at him and is verbally abusive. This is abuse but it treated like an amusing characteristic of women that is annoying but acceptable.  This is abuse and it should not be taken as a joke this is the kind of perception that facilitates abuse and violence. I am using an example from the movie Friday but I am not attempting to insult the movie or anyone involved in the movie in any way this example is just an observation.
Everyone has the right to demand to have their humanity respected by not being abused. It is never ok to abuse anyone. There is never a legitimate excuse for hurting other people. Forcing yourself on others is never ok, nor is it ok to be passive bystander while abuse is going on much less reward abusive behavior. It is time we adjust our perceptions and attitudes; stop making excuses, rewarding, or cheering on people that abuse others. Change starts first and foremost within us then at home by modeling healthy nonjudgmental behavior as often as possible. It should always be made clear to everyone that it is never OK to intentionally hurt another person for any reason but self defense. Change your perception and your behavior changes too.
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