In Fifty Shades Ana teaches Christian to Make Love.
Up until they met he only knew how to "Fun", hard.
Ana enjoys the Kinky "Funery" that they share - my wife and I have the same ideas.
I have always portrayed my sex life in three distinct ways: Making Love, Having Sex and Funning.
All three ways are very enjoyable for both my wife (of twenty years!) and me - the difference between the three styles has always been the level of Romance involved in the act.
Making Love is a very romantic activity and usually starts long before the evening.
We take our time getting warmed up, share a glass of wine and generally enjoy the building excitement.
When the evening culminates it's a beautiful sexual act filled with passion and love.
Making Love is a large commitment in time and is remarkably satisfying for both my wife and me.
Having Sex isn't overly romantic, the buildup is significantly less and the effort is greatly reduced.
I enjoy having sex, but generally there's not much in it for my wife.
She's very generous with the amount of sex she offers and it strengthens our relationship in other areas knowing that I'll never be unsatisfied with my sex life.
Funning has no romance whatsoever and is a pure act of passion and need.
It takes just as much time to get ready to really Fun as it does to Make Love, but the preparations are different.
When we Fun we choose one person to be 'on top' and that person is responsible for all the preparation and the other person's experience.
We usually take turns being on the 'bottom' since it is pure pleasure without any real effort.
The 'Top' for the evening usually prepares the scene, teases the 'bottom' about what is to come and generally works to create a sense of anticipation and expectation.
When the time comes the Top takes the bottom into the scene and takes complete control of the experience.
Once the bottom has had one (or more, or many more) orgasm(s) then the Top can choose whether they would like to climax as well.
So, can regular people have sex like Christian and Ana? Absolutely.
It takes some preparation and some rather expensive toys as well as a place where no one will disturb you with a phone call or knock on the door.
The easiest way to do this is to rent a place that supplies the bulk of the expensive toys and lets you get away from your normal routine and location.
Ask the host couple if they will take care of scene and setting and offer a range of toys that you can rent or buy.
The scene may include dancing, being strapped into a large piece of sex furniture or just riding a saddle-like vibrator that guarantees a body shaking orgasm.
Make sure the hosts instruct you on the safe use of each toy and suggest music and activities that you can try while you are in their private Red Room.
You'll also want to make sure that you have a safe, quiet and private place to rest or sleep after you are done playing.
Make sure you ask about a shower being available too! It's not as scary as you think and with experienced hosts to gently and discreetly guide you through your first Fifty Shades evening this could be how you start Making Love, Having Sex and Funning