First of all, what is a "zinger?"It is an abrupt insult that is sometimes intended to "get a laugh;" but, in addition, hurts another person's feelings.
Getting the laugh is generally the goal, however, it is at the expense of another person's feelings.
"Zingers" have increasingly become more and more common.
They are so common that, in fact, you only have two choices if you are "zung.
"You either laugh it off or you "zing" right back.
If you were to get upset if someone "zung" you, you would probably be considered a "poor sport" or a "crybaby.
" It is socially unacceptable to get upset when our feelings are hurt.
That's considered "kids stuff.
"We are expected to put up a tough façade and pretend nothing bothers us.
Rather than people being expected to be sensitive to one another's feelings; we are instead faced with the task of building up a "shield of armor" around our feelings and continually trying to convince ourselves that we don't have any.
Here is where my theory comes in.
We are very accustomed to these little "attacks" being thrown back and forth and all around.
Innocent little children are not.
It is my understanding that many parents of autistic children say their child developed normally up until about the age of one and then slowly started behaving differently and retreating into their own little world.
This would work with my theory.
The more language children start grasping and understanding the less they would want to be a part of this world of hurt and pain; therefore, they start retreating into their own little world blocking the rest of us out.
They are not doing this to "teach us a lesson" but rather to protect themselves and it is purely on a subconscious level.
In that respect, autism would be, in fact, "speaking" to us and telling us to be more sensitive to each other's feelings.
It is my belief that they are practically screaming at us to be nice and behave! The behavior an autistic child shows also works with my theory.
They do repetitive tasks.
"Zinging" each other is also quite repetitive and it never ends if you have two parents, let's say, who are incredibly adept at "zinging" each other.
If you're "zung" then you "zing," when you "zing" then you're "zung," etc.
, etc.
"Zinging" is a never-ending cycle in a relationship if you do not recognize it as a problem.
It is just a continual cycle of hurt in an effort to get the other person back.
Nobody ever gets the upper hand and everybody looses.
Here is an example: Person #1:That was a good idea you had for once in your life! Person #2:Well, at least I've had one! Now, this little bit of "zinging" at first glance just seems sort of funny and innocent to us.
But is it?If it is happening all the time, it is causing both parties to have their guards up for the next "attack.
" You would be on a constant "state of alert" to be able to come up with something witty to defend yourself.
The feelings of each person would slowly be chipped away, there would be growing distrust and less compassion for each other.
A sensitive child would pick up on it.
Of course, I'm not dismissing the fact that there may also be biological reasons for autism.
Most likely these children are biologically more susceptible to insensitivity.
In fact, I believe if our species is ever going to survive a mutation of increased sensitivity would in fact be necessary.
Could that be what is going on with these children? But we can at least start addressing the possible environmental factors.
We can at least start posing some questions: Is there a lot of "zinging" going on in your house? Is there violence and name-calling coming out of your television in front of your child?Do you compliment each other and show each other affection? Do you go out of your way to try and be kind to one another? Of course, the intention of this article is not to be blaming anyone for autism.
My intention is to relay my observations and convey my theory to try and help all of those parents out there who are incredibly frustrated with the problems they are facing with their child.
I want to be able to empower them to be able to do something.
What can they do?They can start recognizing at least all the insensitivity that is going on around them and start taking steps to reduce it as much as possible.
And, on a side note, if you don't want to be "zung" then don't "zing.
" - Elizabeth Fink, October 15, 2008
Getting the laugh is generally the goal, however, it is at the expense of another person's feelings.
"Zingers" have increasingly become more and more common.
They are so common that, in fact, you only have two choices if you are "zung.
"You either laugh it off or you "zing" right back.
If you were to get upset if someone "zung" you, you would probably be considered a "poor sport" or a "crybaby.
" It is socially unacceptable to get upset when our feelings are hurt.
That's considered "kids stuff.
"We are expected to put up a tough façade and pretend nothing bothers us.
Rather than people being expected to be sensitive to one another's feelings; we are instead faced with the task of building up a "shield of armor" around our feelings and continually trying to convince ourselves that we don't have any.
Here is where my theory comes in.
We are very accustomed to these little "attacks" being thrown back and forth and all around.
Innocent little children are not.
It is my understanding that many parents of autistic children say their child developed normally up until about the age of one and then slowly started behaving differently and retreating into their own little world.
This would work with my theory.
The more language children start grasping and understanding the less they would want to be a part of this world of hurt and pain; therefore, they start retreating into their own little world blocking the rest of us out.
They are not doing this to "teach us a lesson" but rather to protect themselves and it is purely on a subconscious level.
In that respect, autism would be, in fact, "speaking" to us and telling us to be more sensitive to each other's feelings.
It is my belief that they are practically screaming at us to be nice and behave! The behavior an autistic child shows also works with my theory.
They do repetitive tasks.
"Zinging" each other is also quite repetitive and it never ends if you have two parents, let's say, who are incredibly adept at "zinging" each other.
If you're "zung" then you "zing," when you "zing" then you're "zung," etc.
, etc.
"Zinging" is a never-ending cycle in a relationship if you do not recognize it as a problem.
It is just a continual cycle of hurt in an effort to get the other person back.
Nobody ever gets the upper hand and everybody looses.
Here is an example: Person #1:That was a good idea you had for once in your life! Person #2:Well, at least I've had one! Now, this little bit of "zinging" at first glance just seems sort of funny and innocent to us.
But is it?If it is happening all the time, it is causing both parties to have their guards up for the next "attack.
" You would be on a constant "state of alert" to be able to come up with something witty to defend yourself.
The feelings of each person would slowly be chipped away, there would be growing distrust and less compassion for each other.
A sensitive child would pick up on it.
Of course, I'm not dismissing the fact that there may also be biological reasons for autism.
Most likely these children are biologically more susceptible to insensitivity.
In fact, I believe if our species is ever going to survive a mutation of increased sensitivity would in fact be necessary.
Could that be what is going on with these children? But we can at least start addressing the possible environmental factors.
We can at least start posing some questions: Is there a lot of "zinging" going on in your house? Is there violence and name-calling coming out of your television in front of your child?Do you compliment each other and show each other affection? Do you go out of your way to try and be kind to one another? Of course, the intention of this article is not to be blaming anyone for autism.
My intention is to relay my observations and convey my theory to try and help all of those parents out there who are incredibly frustrated with the problems they are facing with their child.
I want to be able to empower them to be able to do something.
What can they do?They can start recognizing at least all the insensitivity that is going on around them and start taking steps to reduce it as much as possible.
And, on a side note, if you don't want to be "zung" then don't "zing.
" - Elizabeth Fink, October 15, 2008
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