Without question, elder care can cost plenty of money.
Before devising a plan to care for your elder, you are going to need to know what kind of money is available to devote to your overall care plan.
Most families fall into one of the following three categories: 1.
The elder has the funds needed to care for his or her own needs.
Needless to say, the easiest of the three..
2.
The elder has no financial resources.
On top of this, the family does not have the resources or willingness to pay for care.
3.
The elder has limited financial resources.
Perhaps the family is able to kick in the difference.
In most families, talking about the parent's or other relatives financial situation is very difficult.
Older generations are typically resistant to letting younger generations know about their "business".
On top of that, siblings normally don't enjoy discussing their financial situation with each other.
If these matters aren't discussed very carefully, you can end up having all sorts of problems between family members.
Lifelong positive relationships can turn sour in a heartbeat.
The best way to deal with the money end of the discussion is to take a business like approach.
Take emotion right out of the discussion.
I suggest using the following 5 steps for dealing with this most stickiest of situations.
1.
Working together, come up with a figure that will cover the total cost of home care or care provided by a facility.
2.
Determine if your elder has the resources to cover the cost of the care they will need.
3.
Review the cost of care with your elder.
By all means, do this in a tactful and respectful manner - especially if you have not discussed finances with them in the past.
4.
Discuss the possibility of family members chipping in to help with the cost of care they need.
Again, you may have to walk on egg shells here.
It may be extremely difficult to get your elder to accept assistance.
Be mindful of the fact that it may take multiple attempts to get them to agree.
5.
Before asking family members to commit to making a monthly contribution, every family member should be sure to run through the following questions: a.
Do I have a complete understanding of your elder's financial condition? b.
If I agree to chip in, will it impact my current financial stability, my children's college fund? What about my retirement fund? c.
Am I willing to make the sacrifices needed to make a monthly contribution? d.
Do I have a complete understanding of my financial condition and what impact making a monthly contribution will mean? e.
Am I able to make a contribution comfortably in the short term? f.
Will I be able to commit to a long term contribution without adversely impacting my family? g.
Is my immediate family on board with perhaps having to make lifestyle changes in order to make a monthly financial commitment to the care plan for my elder? Don't be afraid to put a cap on what you are willing to contribute to the care plan.
Tell the rest of the family members up front what that max is so everyone is aware.
If you spring this figure on them at a later date, it could end up causing turmoil within the family.
On the reverse side of the coin, don't keep contributions from siblings.
Everyone should be upfront about what they can contribute.
If there is one sibling who is better able to handle more of a contribution and is willing to step up to cover costs that are not able to be met, they should let everyone know that they are doing this.
Not doing so can also have a damaging effect on siblings.