Active Parenting
Since moving to a new town and not knowing other families with children, I spend a lot of time whilst playing with Luke observing other parents. I have found that there are really two types of parents: active parents and sleeper parents. I am certain that at some point all parents vacillate between the two types; however, I personally find it important to try and stay in the active stage of parenting as much as possible. Here are how I define the two.
Sleeper Parents:
1. Never really spend the time with their kids. They may be there in body but mentally they are checked out. These are the parents that constantly have their child wait while they text or ignore their children while they are doing adult things (like talking to another adult, surfing the net etc). I think everyone is guilty of this at some point or another, but what I don't understand is taking your child out some place to play with them while never actually being present with them. What's the point? No parent should be their child's constant play thing, but all children should receive their parents undivided attention for at least a small portion of each day.
2. Let their children get away with murdering kittens! That's a bit graphic, but it conveys the point. Sleepers never take the time to properly discipline their child for their misbehaviors. Every misbehavior truly is a learning opportunity. When I taught, I never dreaded disciplining my students, and I never avoid discipling my child. Each mistake is an opportunity for growth. By avoiding those opportunities, sleeper parents are missing out on one of the most crucial points of parenting, and their kids are crazy annoying to boot! I love kids, just not the annoying ones, and no, they are not all annoying. The only ones that are annoying are the ones with sleeper parents.
3. They buy their kids loads of crap in order for their children to entertain themselves. Luke has what Matt calls the toy dungeon. Luke definitely has lots of unnecessary toys and junk. Many kids do. The difference is, however, that sleeper parents purchase toys to entertain their children in place of themselves actually having to do it. Then they become annoyed or surprised by their children's boredom and say, "But you have hundreds of dollars worth of toys! Why are you not entertained?" Well, they are not entertained because you cannot replace the enjoyment of human interaction with toy interaction, although some may argue.
4. They complain about their child's behavior. They say how difficult it is to discipline their child and that it is sometimes easier to just give in. This is both a truth and a fallacy. I still vividly remember how difficult, challenging and quite frankly horrible it was teaching those first several weeks of first grade. I kept thinking, "These kids are diseased and awful; mental even!" However, I constantly sang Dory's song fromFinding Nemo of "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." I knew that if I didn't swim through the biggest swells I would certainly drown, and none of those 29 little boogers would have ever thrown me a life preserver. Finally, the hard work paid off. I remember telling Gina, my teaching assistant, that I felt as if my class and I had finally gelled. This was towards the very end of the semester. She told me that she thought that we had gelled quite a while ago. I then realized that it wasn't the fact that we had finally learned to get along, but it was rather the fact that I had finally grown to like and appreciate them. My point is, if teachers can manage 29 different moods and behaviors daily for 180 days, parents can surely do it with only a handful. Not to mention, they have the option to beat their own kids! Just kidding...mostly.
So in contrast, we have active parents. They basically do the opposite of the sleeper parents for the majority of the time. Again, I don't think anybody ever only stands on one side of the fence, but I do think that it is important for parents to take the time to observe whether or not they have lingered on the sleeper side for too long.
http://www.ConscienceParenting.com/ Online Parenting Advise and Tips
Since moving to a new town and not knowing other families with children, I spend a lot of time whilst playing with Luke observing other parents. I have found that there are really two types of parents: active parents and sleeper parents. I am certain that at some point all parents vacillate between the two types; however, I personally find it important to try and stay in the active stage of parenting as much as possible. Here are how I define the two.
Sleeper Parents:
1. Never really spend the time with their kids. They may be there in body but mentally they are checked out. These are the parents that constantly have their child wait while they text or ignore their children while they are doing adult things (like talking to another adult, surfing the net etc). I think everyone is guilty of this at some point or another, but what I don't understand is taking your child out some place to play with them while never actually being present with them. What's the point? No parent should be their child's constant play thing, but all children should receive their parents undivided attention for at least a small portion of each day.
2. Let their children get away with murdering kittens! That's a bit graphic, but it conveys the point. Sleepers never take the time to properly discipline their child for their misbehaviors. Every misbehavior truly is a learning opportunity. When I taught, I never dreaded disciplining my students, and I never avoid discipling my child. Each mistake is an opportunity for growth. By avoiding those opportunities, sleeper parents are missing out on one of the most crucial points of parenting, and their kids are crazy annoying to boot! I love kids, just not the annoying ones, and no, they are not all annoying. The only ones that are annoying are the ones with sleeper parents.
3. They buy their kids loads of crap in order for their children to entertain themselves. Luke has what Matt calls the toy dungeon. Luke definitely has lots of unnecessary toys and junk. Many kids do. The difference is, however, that sleeper parents purchase toys to entertain their children in place of themselves actually having to do it. Then they become annoyed or surprised by their children's boredom and say, "But you have hundreds of dollars worth of toys! Why are you not entertained?" Well, they are not entertained because you cannot replace the enjoyment of human interaction with toy interaction, although some may argue.
4. They complain about their child's behavior. They say how difficult it is to discipline their child and that it is sometimes easier to just give in. This is both a truth and a fallacy. I still vividly remember how difficult, challenging and quite frankly horrible it was teaching those first several weeks of first grade. I kept thinking, "These kids are diseased and awful; mental even!" However, I constantly sang Dory's song fromFinding Nemo of "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." I knew that if I didn't swim through the biggest swells I would certainly drown, and none of those 29 little boogers would have ever thrown me a life preserver. Finally, the hard work paid off. I remember telling Gina, my teaching assistant, that I felt as if my class and I had finally gelled. This was towards the very end of the semester. She told me that she thought that we had gelled quite a while ago. I then realized that it wasn't the fact that we had finally learned to get along, but it was rather the fact that I had finally grown to like and appreciate them. My point is, if teachers can manage 29 different moods and behaviors daily for 180 days, parents can surely do it with only a handful. Not to mention, they have the option to beat their own kids! Just kidding...mostly.
So in contrast, we have active parents. They basically do the opposite of the sleeper parents for the majority of the time. Again, I don't think anybody ever only stands on one side of the fence, but I do think that it is important for parents to take the time to observe whether or not they have lingered on the sleeper side for too long.
http://www.ConscienceParenting.com/ Online Parenting Advise and Tips
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