Shortly after Lynne Cheney discovered that hubby Dick and Barack Obama are related, the evitable time came to schedule a family picnic.
Wishing to welcome the newly discovered relative into the Cheney family circle, she and Dick invited Senator Obama, along with his lovely wife, Michelle and their young two young children.
When the various family members arrived, there were the usual cordialities all around.
As the picnic progressed, Dick and Barack happened to find themselves standing side by side, munching hotdogs.
"Say, there, Barack," Dick said, "it's quite a surprise we're related, wouldn't you say?" "You could've fooled me, Dick," Obama replied.
"Only eighth cousins, though," Cheney slipped in.
"Some say ninth.
" "Yep.
As I understand it, our mutual ancestors were my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents and your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents.
" Dick had been busy, using his fingers to keep track.
He looked up, and asked, "Did you say one less 'great' on my side?" "Yes, I believe I did.
" Barack replied, and took a sip of soda.
Then he observed, "Not quite like we're blood brothers, is it?" "Funny you should mention that," Dick said.
"I had the same thought.
Must have to do with the fact that you're a Democrat and I'm a Republican.
" "Not to mention," Barack countered, "that I'm a liberal and you're a conservative.
" "Oh, that, too," Dick said.
"But, thanks to my wife's genealogical research, we're family, right?" "Appears to be the case," Obama said.
"Quite distant family, though.
" "Oh, very distant," Dick replied.
"I just can't figure out what inspired my wife to do the research?" "Well, maybe she wasn't expecting to make such an unexpected discovery.
" "You may be right there.
But I'm kind of getting used to surprises.
As you may know, my beloved daughter Mary is a lesbian.
" "Yes, I read about that.
Understand she has a child now?" "Oh, a wonderful grandchild," Dick assured him.
"I couldn't be happier.
" "Good for you.
" "Thanks.
Yep, the surprises just keep coming.
Shot one of my friends while quail hunting, too.
" "Read about that as well.
Unfortunate incident.
How's he doing?" "Alive and buckshot free, thankfully.
" "Excellent.
I've had a few surprises myself.
" "Really? Like what?" "Well, family matters.
" "Trouble with the wife?" Dick queried.
"No, no, happily married.
" "Kids seem kind of young to be into mischief?" "Great kids," Obama assured him "What kind of family matters then?" "Oh, a distant relative.
Does a lot of things I don't approve of.
" "Really?" "Yeah.
His behavior really gets to me.
I am in total disagreement with him.
Not much I can do about it, though.
" "Well, come to think of it, I have a distant relative just like that myself.
" "You do?" "Yep.
Upsets me every bit as much.
Not much I can do about it, either," Dick conceded, and glanced at his watch.
"How you coming with your presidential bid?" "Working on it.
" "Hillary seems like a strong opponent?" "Yep," Barack said.
"What will you do if she gets nominated?" "Haven't thought about it much.
Maybe get nominated for vice president.
" "Vice president? Hey, that's my job," Dick exclaimed.
"Yep, at least, for a short time.
" "Would you accept?" "Might.
" "Well, imagine that.
Two vice presidents in the family.
" "If not one vice president and a president.
" "Well, then, let me wish you good luck.
" "Thanks, Dick.
" "Like another hot dog?" "Maybe later," Barack replied.
"Tasty," Dick said, and put out his hand.
"Enjoy the picnic, cousin.
" Barack looked down at his extended hand and considered his options.
Then he reached out and shook it, saying, "You, too, cousin.
" Then he walked off toward his wife and kids, inadvertently wiping his hand on his slacks.
Dick felt a snit in his stomach and rubbed it.
Too many hotdogs, he thought, with a passing thought about his stent.
But he went to get another one, anyway.
Nervous eating, he decided, and thought he might also have another drink.