- 1). Make sure you break up face-to-face. This may be extremely difficult for many men, but it is the right way to do it. If you break up with a woman over the phone, or worse, through email, you are showing her a complete lack of respect. You are basically telling her that the time you spent together means absolutely nothing.
- 2). Ensure that she hears the news from you, and only you. Do not inform any of your mutual friends that a breakup is imminent. It is OK to ask advice from a few of your close friends, that is natural, but do not speak to any mutual friends about the breakup. This will ensure that you do not lose control of the breakup. If she knows you are going to break up with her, then she will most likely blindside you at an inopportune time.
- 3). Choose a good time to do the breakup. Do not choose any day that will cause any additional heartache for the woman. Holidays and her birthday are the worst possible times to break up with a woman. Do not break up with her on a day she needs comforting either (ie. anniversary of death of a family member). You could potentially ruin a perfectly good day, or make one worse, for years to come.
- 4). Pick out the right place for the breakup to occur. Do not do it at your home. If you do it at your house, you have no way to make her leave other than throwing her out. Otherwise, you may end up having to talk it out and endure her trying to make things work for a long period of time, simply because there is no point in leaving your own home. Do not do it at her place either. She is not only comfortable, but vulnerable, at her home. She may get calls or visitors as well, which could drag out the breakup and cause interruptions. NEVER break up at one of your "favorite places." You may get sentimental at these places, and may ruin one of her favorite places for her. Plus, she will probably think the conversation will be a good one if you go to one of these places. A local park is the best place to break up, but a new coffee shop or restaurant will also work.
- 5). Ensure that you tell her the truth. If you found someone else, try to let her know you think there are better people out there for both of you. If it is bad timing then explain that to her. Focus on you. Explain your needs and shortcomings, and never let her think that she is responsible for the ending of the relationship. If you complete this step successfully, it will reduce the chance of having an ex-girlfriend stalker trying to find out why the relationship ended.
- 6). Don't get complicated while talking. Basically, don't overanalyze the relationship. This will drag out the unpleasant process for the both of you. Make sure you don't get into ambiguous or tangential aspects of the relationship, as this will have the same effect.
- 7). Remain completely calm. She will most likely get angry and start yelling. Let her do this. It is good for her to get it all out now, which could ensure she doesn't try to take it out on you at a later date. Do not under any circumstances fire back at her. Remember, you are the one who is hurting her. Plus, if you argue, it could turn into one of those bad breakups you often hear about but never want to have.
- 8). Stick to your guns and remain convincing. She will probably cry, but this is no reason to prolong the event. Staying with her at this point is only going to hurt more in the long run. If you made the decision with a clear head, then you need to stick by it. You may even have second thoughts in the heat of the moment, but remember that you're not really thinking clearly at this time because of the depth of emotion involved. Once you make the decision, stick by it.
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