My little one is adopted.
We brought him home from the hospital new born.
When we were in the hospital before they let him loose, several of the nurses talked to me about the importance of skin to skin belly to belly time for bonding with an infant.
Full skin contact, they explained to me, releases hormones that encourage bonding an attachment.
They urged me to incorporate skin to skin time in our daily routine to get that bonding processes in over-drive! I did.
I can honestly say on the rare days we didn't have skin to skin belly time my wee one was noticeably more cranky.
Needless to say, we are quite bonded.
Recently I have had a rash of inquiries regarding lack of sexual desire.
His lack of desire, her lack of desire, their lack of desire - lots of folks out there not wanting to do it.
I just came back from a trip where I talked with dozens of people expressing the same sentiment.
It seems that for a bunch of reasons, too many to list here, sexual apathy is prevalent.
I had a client a few days ago bemoaning that she feels completely sexually and sensually disconnected from her husband.
She missed the intimacy but just didn't have the energy or desire she used to.
Basically she wanted a quick fix to a problem that had been brewing for years.
I believe sexual intimacy is the glue that holds a marriage together.
So, what's a girl to do without whoopee?? At first thought I figured there was no quick fix.
Then I took a deep breath and began channeling the nurses.
Skin to skin contact stimulates hormones that encourage bonding.
If it works for babies and mothers, why wouldn't it work for lovers??? I have written before and firmly believe in the power of non-sexual touch, hand holding, cuddling, and so forth, for maintaining sexual intimacy.
This is the same idea on steroids.
How it works is simple.
Lie in bed, on your side, facing your partner or with your arms around your partner for at least fifteen minutes.
Key to success is this - you must both be bare naked.
I'm talking 100% bare butt naked - for at least ten minutes.
I don't care of you're talking or not.
I don't care of you're gazing into each others eyes or not.
I don't care if you're thinking about the grocery list or work tomorrow or not.
All that matters is the skin to skin contact for a minimum of ten minutes.
I don't care if nothing happens and you get up and put your sweatpants back on or not after the fifteen minutes.
All that matters is that you practice this exercise for at least three weeks.
I'd be really super surprised that if you commit to this exercise and follow it through if the switch of desire doesn't flip on.
Even if sex isn't the by-product of the exercise, intimacy and bonding can't help but happen.
Hormones will naturally get that party started.
So - I challenge you to the three week skin to skin exercise.
I'm anxious to hear what happens.
Please email me and let me know.
My money says the nurses were right.
We brought him home from the hospital new born.
When we were in the hospital before they let him loose, several of the nurses talked to me about the importance of skin to skin belly to belly time for bonding with an infant.
Full skin contact, they explained to me, releases hormones that encourage bonding an attachment.
They urged me to incorporate skin to skin time in our daily routine to get that bonding processes in over-drive! I did.
I can honestly say on the rare days we didn't have skin to skin belly time my wee one was noticeably more cranky.
Needless to say, we are quite bonded.
Recently I have had a rash of inquiries regarding lack of sexual desire.
His lack of desire, her lack of desire, their lack of desire - lots of folks out there not wanting to do it.
I just came back from a trip where I talked with dozens of people expressing the same sentiment.
It seems that for a bunch of reasons, too many to list here, sexual apathy is prevalent.
I had a client a few days ago bemoaning that she feels completely sexually and sensually disconnected from her husband.
She missed the intimacy but just didn't have the energy or desire she used to.
Basically she wanted a quick fix to a problem that had been brewing for years.
I believe sexual intimacy is the glue that holds a marriage together.
So, what's a girl to do without whoopee?? At first thought I figured there was no quick fix.
Then I took a deep breath and began channeling the nurses.
Skin to skin contact stimulates hormones that encourage bonding.
If it works for babies and mothers, why wouldn't it work for lovers??? I have written before and firmly believe in the power of non-sexual touch, hand holding, cuddling, and so forth, for maintaining sexual intimacy.
This is the same idea on steroids.
How it works is simple.
Lie in bed, on your side, facing your partner or with your arms around your partner for at least fifteen minutes.
Key to success is this - you must both be bare naked.
I'm talking 100% bare butt naked - for at least ten minutes.
I don't care of you're talking or not.
I don't care of you're gazing into each others eyes or not.
I don't care if you're thinking about the grocery list or work tomorrow or not.
All that matters is the skin to skin contact for a minimum of ten minutes.
I don't care if nothing happens and you get up and put your sweatpants back on or not after the fifteen minutes.
All that matters is that you practice this exercise for at least three weeks.
I'd be really super surprised that if you commit to this exercise and follow it through if the switch of desire doesn't flip on.
Even if sex isn't the by-product of the exercise, intimacy and bonding can't help but happen.
Hormones will naturally get that party started.
So - I challenge you to the three week skin to skin exercise.
I'm anxious to hear what happens.
Please email me and let me know.
My money says the nurses were right.
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