At the beginning we say that it does not matter and that it will pass one day.
We refuse to put a name on that desire that burns in us and on this vision we hold of our future, a vision where we share our journey with someone of the same sex as us.
I remember the first time when you tell to yourself "I'm gay" this seems to be accompanied by a flash of lightning that shatters your reality, followed by the sensation of falling into a large bottomless pit.
Dare to define oneself as homosexual means dying to his old self and be reborn to another one.
I speak of death because in the end it comes to grief on a role that was played and on a future that had played a major part in the definition of your personality.
Yet the rebirth that comes with this solitary act of immense courage looks deeply like the blinding light of a lost paradise where you can finally be yourself and breathe freely without the burden of appearances.
But the transition from darkness to light is not necessarily obvious.
I have known many guys who remained during long periods in this "purgatory", this transitional state between "revelation to oneself" and "self-acceptance".
In this world which is sometimes extremely violent and gray, people tend to hate themselves for being different.
I would not say if it is normal or not to linger in this transitional state.
I do not think there is any rule and I think everyone has the right to move at his own pace.
Learn to love his homosexuality is not something that we can force on someone, it is a personal process that must be respected.
I speak of "love his homosexuality" because actually for me the key to acceptance lies in this simple act.
So tell me why does anyone love his sexuality? Simply because homosexuality (like heterosexuality) does not speaks only about sex but more importantly about love.
It is about the way you watched once a man with all the affection of the world shining in your eyes, it is about the way tomorrow you will hug the man who will be your companion.
When you say "I'm gay", what you say is actually "in my life I would love to know the wonder of sharing intimacy with another human being, to feel his heart beat for me, to know the warmth of his skin and share his dreams".
Allowing yourself to live your sexuality is ultimately allowing yourself to be happy with another person, allowing yourself to share his doubts and his hopes.
The right to love is a universal right.
In the end nobody can stop you from loving, nobody can stop you from providing a haven of peace to someone in the center of your heart.
And by loving your sexuality you will ensure that this right is respected in your life.