Long-Term Care - Having the "Long-Term Care" Conversation With Parents
The phone call can come at any time.
Even though it's never completely unexpected, we go into crisis mode.
"Your Mom's had a stroke".
"Your Dad fell and broke his hip.
" "Dad keeps forgetting to take his heart medication.
" "Mom thinks she's a child again.
" The scenarios are endless.
Ironically, the healthy lifestyles and improved medical care most of us are enjoying actually increase the odds of getting that phone call.
The longer our parents live, the more likely they will need care.
In past decades, when a parent needed care, other family members stepped in to fill the role.
Usually it was the women in the family who assumed the role of primary caregiver.
But changes in the "modern" family have made it less likely that children will be in a position to provide care for aging parents.
Families today are not only much smaller, but many are spread across the globe, with two careers needed to support the family financially.
How can we avoid going into crisis mode when a parent needs assistance? By developing a written plan in advance- a plan designed specifically with our parents' situation in mind.
A written plan results from analyzing the implications of relying on each of the options for paying for care.
Although most Americans believe that health insurance or Medicare pays for long-term care, in reality, it is provided for or paid for by only four resources:
By having a plan, such an event won't force our parents to deplete monies that were set aside for retirement income and inheritances.
Proper planning will also keep them from having to rely on the financial support of their children.
Fortunately, grown children and their parents are finally beginning to feel comfortable having the "long-term care conversation".
A good way for children to begin the conversation would be to tell the story of another family who is dealing with a long-term care need.
This would offer a natural opening for asking our parents if they had discussed the issue of long-term care with one another.
Expect the conversation to be vague at first.
But if you're unable to eventually move them to the reality of the issue, encourage your parents to seek the guidance of a third party: A financial professional, such as their Certified Financial Planner, Estate Planning Attorney, or CPA.
Many financial professionals are trained in a Comprehensive Planning Approach to long-term care and are comfortable discussing intergenerational issues.
They may also refer you and your parents to the appropriate resources for implementing the details of the LTC plan when it's needed.
A written plan for LTC is your parents' document for describing the deliberate choices they've made for how their care would take place.
It should be communicated and distributed to all involved parties, including siblings.
Yes, the call will still come.
But at least some of the stress and confusion surrounding the question "What do we do?" will be alleviated by having a written plan for long-term care.
Even though it's never completely unexpected, we go into crisis mode.
"Your Mom's had a stroke".
"Your Dad fell and broke his hip.
" "Dad keeps forgetting to take his heart medication.
" "Mom thinks she's a child again.
" The scenarios are endless.
Ironically, the healthy lifestyles and improved medical care most of us are enjoying actually increase the odds of getting that phone call.
The longer our parents live, the more likely they will need care.
In past decades, when a parent needed care, other family members stepped in to fill the role.
Usually it was the women in the family who assumed the role of primary caregiver.
But changes in the "modern" family have made it less likely that children will be in a position to provide care for aging parents.
Families today are not only much smaller, but many are spread across the globe, with two careers needed to support the family financially.
How can we avoid going into crisis mode when a parent needs assistance? By developing a written plan in advance- a plan designed specifically with our parents' situation in mind.
A written plan results from analyzing the implications of relying on each of the options for paying for care.
Although most Americans believe that health insurance or Medicare pays for long-term care, in reality, it is provided for or paid for by only four resources:
- Family
- Medicaid, the welfare program
- Personal Assets
- Long-Term Care Insurance
By having a plan, such an event won't force our parents to deplete monies that were set aside for retirement income and inheritances.
Proper planning will also keep them from having to rely on the financial support of their children.
Fortunately, grown children and their parents are finally beginning to feel comfortable having the "long-term care conversation".
A good way for children to begin the conversation would be to tell the story of another family who is dealing with a long-term care need.
This would offer a natural opening for asking our parents if they had discussed the issue of long-term care with one another.
Expect the conversation to be vague at first.
But if you're unable to eventually move them to the reality of the issue, encourage your parents to seek the guidance of a third party: A financial professional, such as their Certified Financial Planner, Estate Planning Attorney, or CPA.
Many financial professionals are trained in a Comprehensive Planning Approach to long-term care and are comfortable discussing intergenerational issues.
They may also refer you and your parents to the appropriate resources for implementing the details of the LTC plan when it's needed.
A written plan for LTC is your parents' document for describing the deliberate choices they've made for how their care would take place.
It should be communicated and distributed to all involved parties, including siblings.
Yes, the call will still come.
But at least some of the stress and confusion surrounding the question "What do we do?" will be alleviated by having a written plan for long-term care.
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