"It was like waking up at the sound of a train whistle-and remembering you'd fallen asleep on the tracks.
'Damn it, Brother,' I said.
'You're a cowboy, not a detective.
' Old Red didn't answer with words.
He just turned and showed me that little wisp of a grin he slips under his mustache when he thinks he's being clever.
Oh? his smile said.
A feller can't be both?" Hang onto the reins and enjoy Steve Hockensmith's first novel, Holmes on the Range.
The brothers are Gustav and Otto Amlingmeyer known by one and all as Old Red and Big Red due to the ginger color of their hair.
Old Red is illiterate and relies on his younger brother, Big Red to read him stories about Sherlock Holmes.
The two are down on their luck cowboys drifting along looking for work.
Hired on at a strange ranch Big Red is mortified and Old Red ecstatic when a murder gives them the opportunity to practice some "deducifying".
Old Red enthusiastically embraces the role of Sherlock while Big Red reluctantly and under protest becomes his Watson.
There is a cast of gossipy cowboys, uppity blue blood ranch owners from England, a tragic but strong beautiful woman, evil foremen, stampedes, a little blood and guts and on top of all that a pretty good story.
A story helped along with a healthy serving of humor.
The Swede is the cook and he doesn't mean to be funny but...
"The Swede's accent was molasses-thick even under the best of circumstances, but now it was as if someone had left the jug outside on a cold day.
I was still trying to strain some meaning from the syrup when...
'So I em going always to de oothoose when I am to be making with the plop, yes?'...
" Ahhhh, yes.
Then there is the faithful horse, Pudding, who always comes home, then doesn't one day.
The legend of the beautiful but tragic beauty's forbidden lover.
Money troubles, a hermit cannibal and an "oothoose" door that keeps latching itself from the inside.
On top of all that good stuff there is confrontation and drama.
The brothers have their differences.
"Thinking of Pinky got me heated up to quite a blaze again, and I was just about to singe Old Red's eyebrows with some hot talk, spy be damned, when Anytime put out a shout that rescued my brother from the barbecue.
" Throw in a little action and this story is looking like it might be worth a little bit of your time.
"I smacked into its mangy hide like a snowball dashed against the side of a barn, coming down hard on my saddle warmer with my legs splayed out in a wishbone U.
" On that happy note take a minute to click over to your favorite online bookseller or hop in your car to visit your favorite bookstore or library.
Gustav has probably deducified your intentions to read his story.