The Archbishop of Canterbury has recently made headlines with his views on the stress many of us inflict on ourselves at Christmas.
He commented that debt and the pressure to create the perfect Christmas often results in irritability, arguments, stress, real problems in relationships.
With many of us working long hours, perhaps coping as single parents, we are keen to make Christmas extra-special.
Often there is a sense that everyone else is enjoying the idealised, magazine and media promoted perfect Christmas; the one where everyone enjoys each other's company and all is well with the world.
There may be a hope that if we act as if everything's fine it will make it so.
The desire to conceal the true state of our less than perfect lives may also be a factor.
Let's look at some ways to reduce the stress of Christmas: - Talk to your children.
Perhaps discuss them receiving one main present and explain a little of the pressure you're under.
Children are often able to understand and be reasonable if they are talked to properly.
- Consider giving your children memories rather than actual gifts; taking them out for a day, having an indoor picnic, spending fun time together on activities can make Christmas special, enhance your relationship and give them something really precious, your time.
- For gifts for other people list in advance who you want to buy Christmas presents for, with a price limit and suggestions next to each name.
This avoids aimlessly wandering around stores, with the resultant last-minute panic buying.
- Suggest a limit of £10 per gift, especially for adults, then everyone has to use their imagination as they shop.
Maybe decide on one present per person for a Secret Santa with everyone getting a token present.
Many people express relief when someone suggests this option.
Don't forget how many of those fabulously extravagant gifts are unwanted or unappreciated and often get returned to shops.
- Use local Christmas markets, craft fairs, privately owned shops to find unusual, original gifts that have no obvious price tag attached to them.
It can be lovely to give and/or receive a gift that is unique, purchased especially with that person in mind.
- Wait to shop till nearer Christmas if possible.
Many shops start their sales during the week before Christmas.
Often good value purchases can then be made at that time.
- Select a significant photograph and have it beautifully framed, making a most thoughtful, personalised gift.
Or utilise your talents: bake a delicious cake, arrange lovely seasonal flowers, paint a picture, give a personalised, individual gift.
- How about babysitting vouchers? They are priceless and most parents will appreciate the opportunity for an evening out, leaving their children safely in the care of someone they know and trust.
Or offer practical help with gardening, de-cluttering, decorating.
- Reduce the expense of entertaining by making a hot-pot supper, a chilli, a lasagna with garlic bread and all the trimmings.
With so much rich food over Christmas a simple, tasty casserole is often very welcome.
Or arrange a dinner where a course is served at each person's house.
It can be fun to walk from one to the next and saves on expense and effort.
- Source free events like carol services; plan indoor activities like board games, charades, quizzes.
Outdoor activities can include a brisk country walk or team sports like football, rounders.
Inexpensive, fun ways to burn off energy and enjoy Christmas.
- Let the children help and ask them to plan one day each over the school holidays.
They are often surprisingly creative.
Older children may even enjoy the opportunity to work to a budget and organise the finer details, an interesting exercise for them.
A little forward planning can reduce the stress and expense of this time of the year.
By being organised, sharing jobs, planning menus, batch cooking in advance, scheduling in some 'me' time, Christmas can be a special time for everyone, including yourself.
And remember, even if things don't go to plan, those slip ups and accidents often become the stuff of family anecdotes and humorous tales remembered with affection over the forthcoming years.
He commented that debt and the pressure to create the perfect Christmas often results in irritability, arguments, stress, real problems in relationships.
With many of us working long hours, perhaps coping as single parents, we are keen to make Christmas extra-special.
Often there is a sense that everyone else is enjoying the idealised, magazine and media promoted perfect Christmas; the one where everyone enjoys each other's company and all is well with the world.
There may be a hope that if we act as if everything's fine it will make it so.
The desire to conceal the true state of our less than perfect lives may also be a factor.
Let's look at some ways to reduce the stress of Christmas: - Talk to your children.
Perhaps discuss them receiving one main present and explain a little of the pressure you're under.
Children are often able to understand and be reasonable if they are talked to properly.
- Consider giving your children memories rather than actual gifts; taking them out for a day, having an indoor picnic, spending fun time together on activities can make Christmas special, enhance your relationship and give them something really precious, your time.
- For gifts for other people list in advance who you want to buy Christmas presents for, with a price limit and suggestions next to each name.
This avoids aimlessly wandering around stores, with the resultant last-minute panic buying.
- Suggest a limit of £10 per gift, especially for adults, then everyone has to use their imagination as they shop.
Maybe decide on one present per person for a Secret Santa with everyone getting a token present.
Many people express relief when someone suggests this option.
Don't forget how many of those fabulously extravagant gifts are unwanted or unappreciated and often get returned to shops.
- Use local Christmas markets, craft fairs, privately owned shops to find unusual, original gifts that have no obvious price tag attached to them.
It can be lovely to give and/or receive a gift that is unique, purchased especially with that person in mind.
- Wait to shop till nearer Christmas if possible.
Many shops start their sales during the week before Christmas.
Often good value purchases can then be made at that time.
- Select a significant photograph and have it beautifully framed, making a most thoughtful, personalised gift.
Or utilise your talents: bake a delicious cake, arrange lovely seasonal flowers, paint a picture, give a personalised, individual gift.
- How about babysitting vouchers? They are priceless and most parents will appreciate the opportunity for an evening out, leaving their children safely in the care of someone they know and trust.
Or offer practical help with gardening, de-cluttering, decorating.
- Reduce the expense of entertaining by making a hot-pot supper, a chilli, a lasagna with garlic bread and all the trimmings.
With so much rich food over Christmas a simple, tasty casserole is often very welcome.
Or arrange a dinner where a course is served at each person's house.
It can be fun to walk from one to the next and saves on expense and effort.
- Source free events like carol services; plan indoor activities like board games, charades, quizzes.
Outdoor activities can include a brisk country walk or team sports like football, rounders.
Inexpensive, fun ways to burn off energy and enjoy Christmas.
- Let the children help and ask them to plan one day each over the school holidays.
They are often surprisingly creative.
Older children may even enjoy the opportunity to work to a budget and organise the finer details, an interesting exercise for them.
A little forward planning can reduce the stress and expense of this time of the year.
By being organised, sharing jobs, planning menus, batch cooking in advance, scheduling in some 'me' time, Christmas can be a special time for everyone, including yourself.
And remember, even if things don't go to plan, those slip ups and accidents often become the stuff of family anecdotes and humorous tales remembered with affection over the forthcoming years.
Source...