The reason I like to write in first person is because I want the information I have feel more like friends sharing a cup of coffee and talking.
I don't write about personal things very much, because that would be an imposition.
However, I will share this one, as I think it could help people dealing with similar situations.
Our elder daughter is missing.
She's an adult, which automatically makes it hard to get the attention of anyone in authority.
In fact, no one is willing to do more than take a missing person's report.
This information, while frustrating, is not surprising.
Law enforcement has a pretty strict set of rules that explain when they can act and when they can't.
In this case, while there is plenty of circumstantial evidence that a crime has been committed, it is overshadowed by evidence that indicates the contrary.
That sets the stage for what you may need to know and do in order to get through this ordeal.
My family is currently following all or most of the following, and it has helped.
1) Doctor: This is a parents' worst nightmare.
Once you're satisfied that your child is truly missing, talk to your doctor.
He or she can set up some of the rest of the things on this list.
The doctor can also tell you if you are reacting normally.
This is a good thing, especially if you're beginning to wonder if you'll get through this and still have some remnants of sanity.
2) Cry: The doctor will probably tell you the same thing.
I'm worried sick about our daughter, and I cry daily, if not hourly.
It's God's way of helping you let out enough of the fear, frustration and anxiety out of your system so you can continue to cope.
3) Meds/herbs: You're likely to need something, and while I prefer herbs most of the time, the safe ones aren't cut out to cope with something of this magnitude.
If you prefer the natural route, jasmine and passionflower are the two strongest herbs on the GRAS list.
Always buy your jasmine as there is only one that is safe to use.
The rest are toxic.
4) Counseling: Whether it's your pastor, other religious leader or one recommended to you by your doctor, you will need to be able to talk to someone outside the family.
This is for two reasons.
The first is that most of your family is already stressed because of this situation, and you don't want to add to their burden.
The second is that your counselor is an "outside observer.
" You can talk about your deepest fears.
I could list a whole host of our worst fears, but that's not needed here.
5) Aromatherapy: I've tried it, and it does seem to help.
It can also safely be used with medications.
Lavender and chamomile are the two best.
You can buy the essential oils, get scented candles or even air freshener.
I'm not as accomplished in this area, but it does seem to help.
6) Keep Busy: Whether it's your part of the search or a complicated task, keeping busy is one of the best things you can do.
7) Don't Give Up; This is a hard part.
You may have to put this situation into a corner of your mind, but don't give up until you see strong evidence that it's time to do so.
Instead, try to imagine your child doing something he or she loves to do and has simply forgotten that you might worry.
8) Don't Forget the Power of Prayer: There are three answers likely to result from prayer; yes, no and wait a while.
As long as you ask that His will be done, keep praying until you get one of the three.
I learned a long time ago that it's better to wait on His will than demand mine be done.
As for us, I long for the day when I can write an article about how wonderful it is to welcome the prodigal child back into the fold.
I don't write about personal things very much, because that would be an imposition.
However, I will share this one, as I think it could help people dealing with similar situations.
Our elder daughter is missing.
She's an adult, which automatically makes it hard to get the attention of anyone in authority.
In fact, no one is willing to do more than take a missing person's report.
This information, while frustrating, is not surprising.
Law enforcement has a pretty strict set of rules that explain when they can act and when they can't.
In this case, while there is plenty of circumstantial evidence that a crime has been committed, it is overshadowed by evidence that indicates the contrary.
That sets the stage for what you may need to know and do in order to get through this ordeal.
My family is currently following all or most of the following, and it has helped.
1) Doctor: This is a parents' worst nightmare.
Once you're satisfied that your child is truly missing, talk to your doctor.
He or she can set up some of the rest of the things on this list.
The doctor can also tell you if you are reacting normally.
This is a good thing, especially if you're beginning to wonder if you'll get through this and still have some remnants of sanity.
2) Cry: The doctor will probably tell you the same thing.
I'm worried sick about our daughter, and I cry daily, if not hourly.
It's God's way of helping you let out enough of the fear, frustration and anxiety out of your system so you can continue to cope.
3) Meds/herbs: You're likely to need something, and while I prefer herbs most of the time, the safe ones aren't cut out to cope with something of this magnitude.
If you prefer the natural route, jasmine and passionflower are the two strongest herbs on the GRAS list.
Always buy your jasmine as there is only one that is safe to use.
The rest are toxic.
4) Counseling: Whether it's your pastor, other religious leader or one recommended to you by your doctor, you will need to be able to talk to someone outside the family.
This is for two reasons.
The first is that most of your family is already stressed because of this situation, and you don't want to add to their burden.
The second is that your counselor is an "outside observer.
" You can talk about your deepest fears.
I could list a whole host of our worst fears, but that's not needed here.
5) Aromatherapy: I've tried it, and it does seem to help.
It can also safely be used with medications.
Lavender and chamomile are the two best.
You can buy the essential oils, get scented candles or even air freshener.
I'm not as accomplished in this area, but it does seem to help.
6) Keep Busy: Whether it's your part of the search or a complicated task, keeping busy is one of the best things you can do.
7) Don't Give Up; This is a hard part.
You may have to put this situation into a corner of your mind, but don't give up until you see strong evidence that it's time to do so.
Instead, try to imagine your child doing something he or she loves to do and has simply forgotten that you might worry.
8) Don't Forget the Power of Prayer: There are three answers likely to result from prayer; yes, no and wait a while.
As long as you ask that His will be done, keep praying until you get one of the three.
I learned a long time ago that it's better to wait on His will than demand mine be done.
As for us, I long for the day when I can write an article about how wonderful it is to welcome the prodigal child back into the fold.
Source...