Navigating the Grief Cycle after the loss of a loved one is treacherous.
The myriad of emotions seem to lie in wait just to jump out and trip you.
There are two primary feelings discussed by experts during this heart-rending time.
The first is anger, found in Stage 2 and the second is depression, found in Stage 4.
There are two other emotions prevalent during this time not usually mentioned in a cursory examination of adjusting to life without a loved one.
The first emotion is sadness.
As soon as the numbness lifts just a little, sadness becomes a constant companion.
It is almost always there on some level years later.
I can think of loved ones that died 30 years ago and, if I allowed myself, tears would come to my eyes.
Looking at a picture of someone who has passed on may bring a smile, but that smile is tinged with regret s/he is no longer here.
It is sadness which chases away the laughter and smiles that used to be part of life.
The other emotion so often invading the time of grieving is guilt.
Humans, being rather clever beings, find amazing ways to feel guilty when a loved one passes.
Many times, the regret is about something said or done that was hurtful.
Often thoughts go to things you wish you had said or done...
promises unfulfilled...
love not spoken.
I've heard people anguished that they hadn't kept their beloved at home for 30 more seconds...
and the murdering car was safely past the intersection.
"If I had insisted she'd gone to the doctor when the cough wouldn't go away.
Part of resolving grief is forgiving yourself for what you think you could have done to prevent the tragedy.
Death from a long term illness brings its own guilt.
The dailyness of caring for a loved one who is terminally ill is emotionally wearing.
The caretakers knows their loved one is going to die.
They just doesn't know when.
The longer the illness the more conflict within the caregivers.
They don't want their loved one to die, but they do want the terrible stress of caregiving to be over.
Once the funeral is over, those whose lives were filled with caring for someone have an emptiness.
The pressure is off, but they often feel aimless.
They also experience relief.
The relief is what brings in the guilt.
They feel guilty because the reduction of stress required life to end.
Navigating the grief cycle requires moving beyond the sadness and releasing the guilt.
The myriad of emotions seem to lie in wait just to jump out and trip you.
There are two primary feelings discussed by experts during this heart-rending time.
The first is anger, found in Stage 2 and the second is depression, found in Stage 4.
There are two other emotions prevalent during this time not usually mentioned in a cursory examination of adjusting to life without a loved one.
The first emotion is sadness.
As soon as the numbness lifts just a little, sadness becomes a constant companion.
It is almost always there on some level years later.
I can think of loved ones that died 30 years ago and, if I allowed myself, tears would come to my eyes.
Looking at a picture of someone who has passed on may bring a smile, but that smile is tinged with regret s/he is no longer here.
It is sadness which chases away the laughter and smiles that used to be part of life.
The other emotion so often invading the time of grieving is guilt.
Humans, being rather clever beings, find amazing ways to feel guilty when a loved one passes.
Many times, the regret is about something said or done that was hurtful.
Often thoughts go to things you wish you had said or done...
promises unfulfilled...
love not spoken.
I've heard people anguished that they hadn't kept their beloved at home for 30 more seconds...
and the murdering car was safely past the intersection.
"If I had insisted she'd gone to the doctor when the cough wouldn't go away.
Part of resolving grief is forgiving yourself for what you think you could have done to prevent the tragedy.
Death from a long term illness brings its own guilt.
The dailyness of caring for a loved one who is terminally ill is emotionally wearing.
The caretakers knows their loved one is going to die.
They just doesn't know when.
The longer the illness the more conflict within the caregivers.
They don't want their loved one to die, but they do want the terrible stress of caregiving to be over.
Once the funeral is over, those whose lives were filled with caring for someone have an emptiness.
The pressure is off, but they often feel aimless.
They also experience relief.
The relief is what brings in the guilt.
They feel guilty because the reduction of stress required life to end.
Navigating the grief cycle requires moving beyond the sadness and releasing the guilt.
Source...