What do you do if your best isn't good enough? It's a question I've been asking myself for some time now.
Years actually, as I've been racing around trying to create a life for myself and those I love.
In my family, I've been trying my best to make everyone happy; keep them safe, teach good values and set my children on the right path.
In work, I try to learn new skills, develop leads, showcase my clients' talents, work hard to build their businesses while maintaining my own.
And in a new relationship, I'm trying to be authentic, honest and not let the past dictate my future.
Emphasis on the trying in all those examples because I don't know how well I'm doing in any of it.
I worry that my best attempts aren't good enough.
In fact, this past week I've had to accept that they aren't.
I forget permission slips and pizza money for school parties.
I don't give my kids my undivided attention as much as I should- they watch way too much television and go through too many batteries for the Wii.
I haven't finished renovation projects that started before my separation; and some days, I can't tell what color my rug is underneath the LEGOS, football cards and Star Wars toys.
I go weeks on autopilot, never being fully present in any moment with anyone because my To Do list is running through my head.
And all my energy spread too thin has caused ripples of issues in my life.
Feelings of failure wash over me at odd moments and it seems like depression is always lurking around the corner, waiting for one more shoe to drop.
I haven't laughed with my friends in months and my new relationship had to bear the brunt of my recent pity party.
Most dramatically, my children are acting out- normal developmental growing pains mixed with the reality of the divorce, but horrendously painful for all of us.
So with this new reality...
the idea that my best isn't good enough...
I'm making some changes in my behavior and outlook.
I'm going to let the little things go.
The laundry can stay in the clean basket until needed; on hot summer nights, dinner can be cold cereal.
The time I spend neglecting those tasks can be put towards playing football with my kids.
I will leave my cell phone off so I'm not texting away, caught up in a moment that's not in front of me.
And I will remember that summer vacation only lasts a few more weeks.
And soon, I will have the routine and work schedule back, but I won't have these extended moments with my family.
I intend to continue to do my best, but now my best will be better.
It will be focused, attentive and in tune with what really matters in my life.
I will figure out that place between perfection and pandemonium- where things will be as they will be.
And most importantly, I will cut myself some slack.
Cause I know I can be my own worst enemy.
Years actually, as I've been racing around trying to create a life for myself and those I love.
In my family, I've been trying my best to make everyone happy; keep them safe, teach good values and set my children on the right path.
In work, I try to learn new skills, develop leads, showcase my clients' talents, work hard to build their businesses while maintaining my own.
And in a new relationship, I'm trying to be authentic, honest and not let the past dictate my future.
Emphasis on the trying in all those examples because I don't know how well I'm doing in any of it.
I worry that my best attempts aren't good enough.
In fact, this past week I've had to accept that they aren't.
I forget permission slips and pizza money for school parties.
I don't give my kids my undivided attention as much as I should- they watch way too much television and go through too many batteries for the Wii.
I haven't finished renovation projects that started before my separation; and some days, I can't tell what color my rug is underneath the LEGOS, football cards and Star Wars toys.
I go weeks on autopilot, never being fully present in any moment with anyone because my To Do list is running through my head.
And all my energy spread too thin has caused ripples of issues in my life.
Feelings of failure wash over me at odd moments and it seems like depression is always lurking around the corner, waiting for one more shoe to drop.
I haven't laughed with my friends in months and my new relationship had to bear the brunt of my recent pity party.
Most dramatically, my children are acting out- normal developmental growing pains mixed with the reality of the divorce, but horrendously painful for all of us.
So with this new reality...
the idea that my best isn't good enough...
I'm making some changes in my behavior and outlook.
I'm going to let the little things go.
The laundry can stay in the clean basket until needed; on hot summer nights, dinner can be cold cereal.
The time I spend neglecting those tasks can be put towards playing football with my kids.
I will leave my cell phone off so I'm not texting away, caught up in a moment that's not in front of me.
And I will remember that summer vacation only lasts a few more weeks.
And soon, I will have the routine and work schedule back, but I won't have these extended moments with my family.
I intend to continue to do my best, but now my best will be better.
It will be focused, attentive and in tune with what really matters in my life.
I will figure out that place between perfection and pandemonium- where things will be as they will be.
And most importantly, I will cut myself some slack.
Cause I know I can be my own worst enemy.
Source...