What do you believe is really possible to achieve in the months ahead? I ask myself the same question. The reason is that it's too easy to set self-imposed limits without realising it. The universal way we do this is with labels.
If you have ever tried to remove a price label from a gift or to take the label off a jar or bottle, you'll know that some peel away easily. Others are a real devil! They take hours of soaking and scraping and then come away in reluctant pieces. It's the same with the mental labels that we apply to ourselves.
There are cultural pressures to use labels. We all know that when we meet someone for the first time, an opening question is 'What do you do?' Most often we reply with a label. Official forms have a box for 'occupation'; many of us have a job title.
We internalise these influences and form our sense of self from labels; we believe we are the sort of person who can do certain things and, by implication, the sort of person who cannot do others.
Up to a point this works OK, especially if the labels are of the easy-peel variety. Labels can be informative and sometimes they enlarge our scope. For example, a promotion comes with a new label and new possibilities.
Yet we need to guard against the negative aspects. Labels can become outdated and if they are not removed they are misleading, like the bottle in the garage which is labelled lemonade and contains paint thinners.
One client came to a coaching session with the self-applied label of 'poor communicator'. However when we teased out the actual evidence, it was pointing the other way. As a result, she chose to change the label. Check whether you are carrying a label that needs updating.
Some labels can be very sticky. This happens when we have identified with them because we feel we have earned them from previous achievements. Then we are strongly biased to continue behaving in a way consistent with our labels.
As an example, consider a manager who carries the label 'tough' and who habitually works in a command and control style. This will limit both their effectiveness and career prospects yet the temptation is to continue in the same style to be consistent with the tough label. For this manager to change to a more caring, people-focused style will take real courage in order to break the pattern and change the label.
On a practical level, how can you make labels work for you rather than against?
1. Become fully aware of what labels you are using. To bring them to the surface, ask yourself 'Who am I?' - the answer is bound to include many labels. Keep the ones which are relevant and helpful. Stay aware of the others and they will loosen under your awareness; then you can peel them away.
2. Look beyond the labels. Give yourself permission to imagine the success that currently you see as 'impossible'. What sort of person achieves the success you are imagining? You'll find that in your own mind what makes the difference between what's possible for you and what's impossible is the label you're using.
3. Labels can be temporary - you can deliberately adopt a label for a limited period. You don't have to sign up for life! Use an easy-peel label while it is informative and empowering and remove it later. What would be a useful temporary label today?
4. Labels can be flexible to use in different situations. Even the 'tough manager' is likely to be caring with their family. You could be a 'bold assertive person' in some contexts and a 'quiet listening person' in others. Adapt your labels for the context you are in.
5. Remember that whatever labels you use, you are so much more than any of them!
If you have ever tried to remove a price label from a gift or to take the label off a jar or bottle, you'll know that some peel away easily. Others are a real devil! They take hours of soaking and scraping and then come away in reluctant pieces. It's the same with the mental labels that we apply to ourselves.
There are cultural pressures to use labels. We all know that when we meet someone for the first time, an opening question is 'What do you do?' Most often we reply with a label. Official forms have a box for 'occupation'; many of us have a job title.
We internalise these influences and form our sense of self from labels; we believe we are the sort of person who can do certain things and, by implication, the sort of person who cannot do others.
Up to a point this works OK, especially if the labels are of the easy-peel variety. Labels can be informative and sometimes they enlarge our scope. For example, a promotion comes with a new label and new possibilities.
Yet we need to guard against the negative aspects. Labels can become outdated and if they are not removed they are misleading, like the bottle in the garage which is labelled lemonade and contains paint thinners.
One client came to a coaching session with the self-applied label of 'poor communicator'. However when we teased out the actual evidence, it was pointing the other way. As a result, she chose to change the label. Check whether you are carrying a label that needs updating.
Some labels can be very sticky. This happens when we have identified with them because we feel we have earned them from previous achievements. Then we are strongly biased to continue behaving in a way consistent with our labels.
As an example, consider a manager who carries the label 'tough' and who habitually works in a command and control style. This will limit both their effectiveness and career prospects yet the temptation is to continue in the same style to be consistent with the tough label. For this manager to change to a more caring, people-focused style will take real courage in order to break the pattern and change the label.
On a practical level, how can you make labels work for you rather than against?
1. Become fully aware of what labels you are using. To bring them to the surface, ask yourself 'Who am I?' - the answer is bound to include many labels. Keep the ones which are relevant and helpful. Stay aware of the others and they will loosen under your awareness; then you can peel them away.
2. Look beyond the labels. Give yourself permission to imagine the success that currently you see as 'impossible'. What sort of person achieves the success you are imagining? You'll find that in your own mind what makes the difference between what's possible for you and what's impossible is the label you're using.
3. Labels can be temporary - you can deliberately adopt a label for a limited period. You don't have to sign up for life! Use an easy-peel label while it is informative and empowering and remove it later. What would be a useful temporary label today?
4. Labels can be flexible to use in different situations. Even the 'tough manager' is likely to be caring with their family. You could be a 'bold assertive person' in some contexts and a 'quiet listening person' in others. Adapt your labels for the context you are in.
5. Remember that whatever labels you use, you are so much more than any of them!
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