How to Accept the Fact You Are in an Abusive Relationship and Need to Get Out
I do not believe that a person who is being abused in a relationship really realizes that this is happening.
Their mind does not recognize the abuse as such and therefore they allow it to continue.
I do not believe that they enjoy it either so there must be other things keeping them tied to the abusive person day after day.
Accepting that you are in an abusive relationship is the first step to change and a better life.
First let's define abuse both psychological and physical, think about this and evaluate your relationship looking for any of these conducts or treatments towards you.
Physical abuse does not only implicate beatings, demanding and forcing you to have sex when you do not want to is another, this does not mean rape, it means nagging and doing all kinds of things until you finally give up and do it.
Making you cook food for them at any time or telling you to bring a beer or glass of water when they can do it themselves is also abuse.
The constant, take out the trash, do this or do that, go to the store and get me this, clean the kitchen it is filthy and anything related to these done disrespectfully with a commanding, threatening tone is abuse.
The act of forcing you in any way to do something you do not want to do is physical abuse.
Now let us look at psychological abuse.
Psychological abuse is possible less obvious but the damage it causes may be worse.
The act of demeaning, insulting, screaming at, saying terrible things about and in general destroying a person's self-esteem, confidence and personality may leave the body intact but they will kill the person's spirit.
Examples of this are name calling, repeating day to do how useless you are, saying that without them you are nothing, ordering you around and badmouthing you in front of other people or your children, even calling you ugly is a form of psychological abuse.
Many times it is done subtly like when you ask for money for something reasonable and the other person refuses not because he or she does not have it but simply because he or she does not feel like giving it to you.
Saying my house, my car, my money, is also a subtle way to let you know that it is he or she that owns everything and that you own nothing.
Constantly going out without letting you know where he or she is going or not calling you during their outings to let you know where and how they are is also abusive.
It is a way of letting you know that they are your boss and don't care if you worry about them or not.
These are only a few examples of abuse which you might be suffering today.
In general if you do not feel comfortable and at ease when you are alone or accompanied by others with this person, there is probably some kind of abuse taking place.
People in a normal relationship long to be together, enjoy being together every second.
They talk about their future together and make plans to do this and that.
I have been married for thirty years and I call my wife three or four times a day just to hear her voice and to know if all is okay in her neck of the woods.
I am not checking on her, I am truly concerned about her well-being.
I bought our home many years ago and it has never been my house, it is our house, the cars we own are our cars not mine, everything belongs to both of us and property is never discussed or mentioned, we are not only a couple, we are also partners in life.
If you are going through any of the circumstances mentioned above, no matter how small or large, you are being abused.
People who care for each other, love each other and share life spend their time thinking on ways to make their partners happy and secure, they don't do things to make you feel bad or to show who is the bull of the herd.
I don't remember when it was the last time I had my wife get me a glass of water, in fact we take turns doing the cooking and other shores at home.
We enjoy having people over to our home and sharing our togetherness with them.
If you are in a relationship and you have doubts in your mind or your heart about said relationship, take a step back and look for the reasons that may cause these doubts and fears.
You may find that in one way or another, this person is abusing you and it is time to turn your back to that person and head towards a better life and another person who will really appreciate you as a human being.
Their mind does not recognize the abuse as such and therefore they allow it to continue.
I do not believe that they enjoy it either so there must be other things keeping them tied to the abusive person day after day.
Accepting that you are in an abusive relationship is the first step to change and a better life.
First let's define abuse both psychological and physical, think about this and evaluate your relationship looking for any of these conducts or treatments towards you.
Physical abuse does not only implicate beatings, demanding and forcing you to have sex when you do not want to is another, this does not mean rape, it means nagging and doing all kinds of things until you finally give up and do it.
Making you cook food for them at any time or telling you to bring a beer or glass of water when they can do it themselves is also abuse.
The constant, take out the trash, do this or do that, go to the store and get me this, clean the kitchen it is filthy and anything related to these done disrespectfully with a commanding, threatening tone is abuse.
The act of forcing you in any way to do something you do not want to do is physical abuse.
Now let us look at psychological abuse.
Psychological abuse is possible less obvious but the damage it causes may be worse.
The act of demeaning, insulting, screaming at, saying terrible things about and in general destroying a person's self-esteem, confidence and personality may leave the body intact but they will kill the person's spirit.
Examples of this are name calling, repeating day to do how useless you are, saying that without them you are nothing, ordering you around and badmouthing you in front of other people or your children, even calling you ugly is a form of psychological abuse.
Many times it is done subtly like when you ask for money for something reasonable and the other person refuses not because he or she does not have it but simply because he or she does not feel like giving it to you.
Saying my house, my car, my money, is also a subtle way to let you know that it is he or she that owns everything and that you own nothing.
Constantly going out without letting you know where he or she is going or not calling you during their outings to let you know where and how they are is also abusive.
It is a way of letting you know that they are your boss and don't care if you worry about them or not.
These are only a few examples of abuse which you might be suffering today.
In general if you do not feel comfortable and at ease when you are alone or accompanied by others with this person, there is probably some kind of abuse taking place.
People in a normal relationship long to be together, enjoy being together every second.
They talk about their future together and make plans to do this and that.
I have been married for thirty years and I call my wife three or four times a day just to hear her voice and to know if all is okay in her neck of the woods.
I am not checking on her, I am truly concerned about her well-being.
I bought our home many years ago and it has never been my house, it is our house, the cars we own are our cars not mine, everything belongs to both of us and property is never discussed or mentioned, we are not only a couple, we are also partners in life.
If you are going through any of the circumstances mentioned above, no matter how small or large, you are being abused.
People who care for each other, love each other and share life spend their time thinking on ways to make their partners happy and secure, they don't do things to make you feel bad or to show who is the bull of the herd.
I don't remember when it was the last time I had my wife get me a glass of water, in fact we take turns doing the cooking and other shores at home.
We enjoy having people over to our home and sharing our togetherness with them.
If you are in a relationship and you have doubts in your mind or your heart about said relationship, take a step back and look for the reasons that may cause these doubts and fears.
You may find that in one way or another, this person is abusing you and it is time to turn your back to that person and head towards a better life and another person who will really appreciate you as a human being.
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