Arthur B. writes in to sound off on issues a few million players have around the world, especially in certain bar pool halls and on bar pool tables.

You'll find his story insightful… and funny… or sad if it's happened to you, too!

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Ciao Matt,

I am not very adroit at navigating websites so forgive me if I am asking about something which you have answered very clearly and I have not ferretted it out. Bar pool.

I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of bar pool tournaments (at least here in southern Utah-in a state not known for its intellectual rigor). Why do they (bar pool owners) insist on being so #$%@#%$ dumb! Do they love breaking up fights? Why not simply 1) embrace BCA rules 2) post 'em on the walls and 3) thereby eliminate all the drunken arguments.

I have tried in my own way to mitigate this situation by sending nice letters to the bar owners with a set of BCA rules AND a DVD of Johnny Archer and Mika Immonen playing as though to demonstrate unambiguously that this is the way the game should be played... and I go back a month later and nothing has changed.

Incidentally, the only reason I play in bar pool tournaments is because it is the only competition available here in rural Utah; I much prefer big tables with serious players where I can actually win by playing smart pool. The other night I slow rolled a ball down the side rail into the pocket and was just getting down on my next shot when I noticed the bloodstained camouflage jacket of my 6'4" opponent casting a shadow, his hand on the rail six inches from the cue ball, and he says, "You didn't call the rail #$%@%#$."

Yes, then I remembered that the ball did barely touch the side rail before dropping in the hole. At those places you are supposed to call everything from rails to kisses or touching the pocket points, etc.

At another joint the guy called the bank shot and his ball hung on the edge of the pocket for a couple of seconds. I got up to shoot and then he hammered the table and the ball dropped and he was actually going to shoot (!) before I suggested that it would be difficult for him to execute the shot with my cue stick up his ___ and everybody excitedly turned into referees!

The only way I found to ameliorate the situation was to demonstrate the old trick shot with the three balls at the end rail, say the nine and ten balls next to each other and the eight resting on top of them and the cushion in a little triangle so to speak, and you put the cue ball on the other end spot and say that you will hit the eight before hitting any other ball, and you slow roll the cue ball down table toward the three balls and then hit the table and the two balls spread dropping the eight on to the table which is hit by the cue ball...

…You know what I mean and happily this unequivocally convinced even the hardiest drunks that hitting the table can have a huge effect and should be illegal... Blah-blah-blah…

So anyway, since the bars are not gonna change, I have been wondering if there are some pretty good hints (say, a ten things to think about when playing bar pool sort of thing) about how we serious players (those of us who play on grownup tables with real rules) can win in the high decibel intoxication of the bar table environment.

Great idea! I'll need to write that but for now, Here's More Bar Table Bum Behavior -- Editor

And Here's More "Not To Dos" At The Tables

I wrote to Randy Givens (author of the 8-Ball Bible--Editor)about this and he has so far ignored my query. His book is excellent but it does not include any advice about how to take advantage of the non-safety situation, the kitchen, and general lack of rules, the inebriation (I love it when my opponent says, "I always play better after a few beers"); how can we take advantage of all those things.

[R. Givens' book is wonderful despite the above, remember, to adjust, as with many books, for different sized tables when you attempt diagrammed shots--Editor]

I mean, once in a while, it must be to our advantage to actually scratch if the other guy has to put the ball in the kitchen. And should we continue to pretend that we are actually shooting a shot or should we call a safe even if it is meaningless?

I almost got in a fight with a guest at my nephew's wedding last summer in Seattle because the $@#%^&^ took offense at my safety play. Chicken-@$@# play he called it. What other tricks come to mind... how about soft defensive breaks leaving clusters which the drunks are going to be unaware of.

Do different types of cue sticks perform better with the heavy bar pool ball... and, I wonder, how many bars actually still use the heavy ball because technology is changing. (Away from magnetic cue balls and/or weighted balls to return on coin-op tables, cue balls that can radically change the way strokes are played, especially draw and break shots--Editor)

Of course I practice with the Aramith Red Dot but it seems some bars are going magnetic and high tech. Anyway, if you don't already have a list of ten guiding principles for bar pool play it could be a good piece.

Bar Pool Tables

Should Bar Pool Tables Be Used At All?

Arthur's friend is also doing art on old table cloth so if you are recovering a bar pool or any other table let me know and we can get some fine billiards art created for you!--Matt Sherman