I recently have devoted a lot of time trying to understand change and all that it can encompasses.
It's a reality that we must accept and fighting it will only amplify its negative effects it can have on us.
So how do you accept change when it can seem so bad? As disheartening as it may seem, the only true way I have found to accept a change that hurt was through time.
When we don't want the change, the more we fight it, and that in turn prolongs any chance of accepting it and finally seeing the good that can manifest out of what may seem so bad.
Four years after my divorce, I can now look back at my situation with a more positive attitude.
I can see what I have now that I wouldn't have had if I were to be on the same path as I was four years ago.
But on the down side, it's taken four years to get here.
Being remarried, having a child and becoming part of a large, loving family again has helped me reach this point of happiness, and that was only possible through time.
I am thankful for all that has happened, bringing me to where I am today, but at the same time, I can't help but think what if something were to change today, just as sudden as before? I don't want it to take another four years (at least) to try and recover again.
It seems such a waste when you finally reach acceptance and you wonder what the big deal was.
So I figure why not seek some control of change now.
Even if it's just a sense of control, maybe this could help me later when the unexpected change appears again.
And it will.
I realize this sense of control is very limited, unable to even approach the degree of difficulties we may experience from unexpected change.
But if just looking at change as a positive entity, perhaps the hope for good out of the unexpected change can be more evident, sooner.
Now the question is " What am I going to change?" If you are anything like me, there are a lot of things that can change and bring me closer to who I am.
With developing a stronger sense myself, I think I will be better equipped to face unwanted change.
Starting a list of little things we want to change can give some perspective and foresight on what we may potentially face, if we follow through.
Quit smoking, eat better, enjoy exercise, take time for my hobby, meditation; all are on my list of things to change for the better.
Now, it come down to pure desire and how much it means to me to follow through.