How to Act Like a Redneck
Instructions
1Don't make any major fashion changes after high school. This means no new clothes or hairdos. If things begin to wear out, make small changes to them. Turn pants into shorts. Tear sleeves off t-shirts, or turn shirts into custom v-necks with a pair of scissors.
2
Tell it how it is. Be totally honest and straight forward about what's on your mind. If what a person is saying is not satisfactory, tell them so no matter who they are. Be sure to raise your voice, use as many cuss words as possible, and get the best results when there is an audience to witness it.
3
Go to any wedding, whether invited or not. Men should just wear t-shirts, women should wear tube tops. Dance on the dance floor barefoot, and don't worry whether any special dances like the father-daughter dance are happening at the time. Also don't worry about a wedding gift or card, and bring beer in case there is not enough or none at all.
4
Decorate your home with game. Hang multiple deer heads, fish and many more stuffed conquests on any open area on the wall.
5
Camouflage everything. Camouflage should be carried through all areas of life. Vehicles, clothing, hats, baby blankets, home decor, beer huggies and everything should be camouflaged.
6
Pick up dead animals on the road. Make sure to put fresh road kill to good use. It helps to always have a shovel in the bed of the truck. It may be useful to have a place in the back of the truck to keep it out of the sun during hot weather.
7
Never, ever read a book. If it's not "Outdoor Life," and can't be made into a movie, it's not worth a redneck's time.
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