I saw a post by another parent on a message board and it began this way, "Today is my autistic son's birthday and I am sad...
" I recalled all the many years past that I felt the exact same way.
This was a sentiment that it was impossible for many people to understand but I bet other parents of children with autism do.
The reason for the sadness is certainly not that you regret the day they were born! Parents of children with autism love them with one of the strongest, fiercest loves ever seen on this planet.
The reason for the sadness is because a birthday represents a significant milestone- a date of importance that cannot be ignored.
Every year, at various times but certainly on birthdays, parents of children with autism face the indisputable fact that although their child might be twelve or thirteen chronologically, they are far younger than that developmentally.
This creates an understandable pain and anguish in the parent.
This highlighting of the developmental differences inherent in the disorder makes it difficult for many parents to "celebrate" a "happy birthday.
" It takes time, and above all a very difficult spiritual concept called "acceptance," to actually have fun on the birthday of a child with a significant cognitive/ developmental delay.
Today, my son's birthdays are an absolute blast.
I suppose this testifies to how far we have both come (more me than him.
) He is fifteen now and doing much better than before.
Yes, he is still significantly delayed in certain areas, particularly speech.
Interestingly though, on his birthdays now I rarely think about the delay anymore.
He is very happy and he is doing very well.
His birthdays are joyful now.
Perhaps they are celebrations of the absolute warfare I feel we have been through.
To those parents who are sad on the birthday of their children with autism, to you I say I understand.
I have been there.
One day in the future you will be happy on his birthday, I promise it.
" I recalled all the many years past that I felt the exact same way.
This was a sentiment that it was impossible for many people to understand but I bet other parents of children with autism do.
The reason for the sadness is certainly not that you regret the day they were born! Parents of children with autism love them with one of the strongest, fiercest loves ever seen on this planet.
The reason for the sadness is because a birthday represents a significant milestone- a date of importance that cannot be ignored.
Every year, at various times but certainly on birthdays, parents of children with autism face the indisputable fact that although their child might be twelve or thirteen chronologically, they are far younger than that developmentally.
This creates an understandable pain and anguish in the parent.
This highlighting of the developmental differences inherent in the disorder makes it difficult for many parents to "celebrate" a "happy birthday.
" It takes time, and above all a very difficult spiritual concept called "acceptance," to actually have fun on the birthday of a child with a significant cognitive/ developmental delay.
Today, my son's birthdays are an absolute blast.
I suppose this testifies to how far we have both come (more me than him.
) He is fifteen now and doing much better than before.
Yes, he is still significantly delayed in certain areas, particularly speech.
Interestingly though, on his birthdays now I rarely think about the delay anymore.
He is very happy and he is doing very well.
His birthdays are joyful now.
Perhaps they are celebrations of the absolute warfare I feel we have been through.
To those parents who are sad on the birthday of their children with autism, to you I say I understand.
I have been there.
One day in the future you will be happy on his birthday, I promise it.
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