At holiday time we are bombarded with idealized visions of loving and warm families and our own memories.
If our memories are not happy we yearn to have the idealized version.
If they were happy we want that now for ourselves.
It is no wonder that there is so much stress associated with this time of year.
Here are four questions you can ask yourself that will help you find solutions to holiday stress.
1.
What are your three favorite aspects of the holiday season? 2.
What are the three things you find most difficult about the holidays? 3.
What three rituals would you change and how? 4.
What three rituals would you want to keep and why? The value of answering these questions is that you become clearer as to what you are hoping for and what worries you.
Once you have some clarity about your favorite and your difficult aspects of the holidays you can begin to look for solutions.
Think about how you can recreate the feeling that make up your favorite aspects.
If it was being together with family and your family is not able to be with you what can you do instead.
You want to be proactive in the present and only do what you are able to do.
When you think about rituals you may realize that some rituals you have been upholding are no longer enjoyable.
If one person has usually been the one to host the family dinner it might be good to find out it that is still something that person wants to do..
People get older, interests change and just because things have been done a certain way for years does not mean they need to be continued the same way.
A review and discussion of feelings can be the basis of introducing change.
There is value in maintaining certain rituals because they give a continuity to the holiday.
At our house we have a specific Christmas Eve meal that stays the same although some of the side dishes change from year to year.
There have been some years when we could not make it Christmas Eve instead it was still special whenever it could be prepared during the holiday season.
We are in charge of how much stress we take on.
When we let go of listening to the expectations of others and listen to what we can realistically do we reduce our stress level.
If our memories are not happy we yearn to have the idealized version.
If they were happy we want that now for ourselves.
It is no wonder that there is so much stress associated with this time of year.
Here are four questions you can ask yourself that will help you find solutions to holiday stress.
1.
What are your three favorite aspects of the holiday season? 2.
What are the three things you find most difficult about the holidays? 3.
What three rituals would you change and how? 4.
What three rituals would you want to keep and why? The value of answering these questions is that you become clearer as to what you are hoping for and what worries you.
Once you have some clarity about your favorite and your difficult aspects of the holidays you can begin to look for solutions.
Think about how you can recreate the feeling that make up your favorite aspects.
If it was being together with family and your family is not able to be with you what can you do instead.
You want to be proactive in the present and only do what you are able to do.
When you think about rituals you may realize that some rituals you have been upholding are no longer enjoyable.
If one person has usually been the one to host the family dinner it might be good to find out it that is still something that person wants to do..
People get older, interests change and just because things have been done a certain way for years does not mean they need to be continued the same way.
A review and discussion of feelings can be the basis of introducing change.
There is value in maintaining certain rituals because they give a continuity to the holiday.
At our house we have a specific Christmas Eve meal that stays the same although some of the side dishes change from year to year.
There have been some years when we could not make it Christmas Eve instead it was still special whenever it could be prepared during the holiday season.
We are in charge of how much stress we take on.
When we let go of listening to the expectations of others and listen to what we can realistically do we reduce our stress level.
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