COMPOSURE - Why You Need to Control Your Emotions and Keep Your Cool
Many years ago I worked for someone who lost his temper easily.
The smallest thing could set him off, so everyone in our department walked around on egg shells, never quite sure when the next explosion might occur.
If I were the one he got upset with, his rant would stay in my mind for days.
It was not a good situation, and a lot of people ended up leaving, including me.
One of the realities of leadership is that things won't always go your way.
Bad things will happen.
People won't always do what you expect them to do.
They sometimes let you down, cause you problems or even work against you.
These unwanted events will frustrate you.
You might feel shock, irritation, anger, or disappointment.
It would be easy to give in to these emotions.
At times like that, it's hard to stay calm and keep your cool.
But if your emotions get more intense, and you act on them, it will only make things worse.
As legendary basketball coach John Wooden wisely observed, "Good judgment, common sense, and reason all fly out the window when emotions kick down your door.
" Lashing out can hurt people.
You can do real damage to relationships with your team members.
If you fail to express your anger in appropriate ways, you'll pay a price.
Even if the victims of your rage don't retaliate in anger, they'll conclude you're insensitive and untrustworthy.
After you've done your damage, you'll have to pick up the pieces.
Just remind yourself that an outburst can frighten people-even hurt them.
You wouldn't deliberately harm someone, so you don't want to do it accidentally by losing your temper.
The key is to explain how you feel and why, after you've calmed down.
This will help you correct the situation that caused your frustration in the first place.
It's hard to stay calm when you're really upset or angry.
It's okay to have these feelings.
Remember that, in your leadership role, it's important to be a strong role model for those who work with you.
You need to be able to control your emotions.
You'll find that your feelings will subside if you don't feed them with more negative thoughts.
When you stay calm, your mind will clear and your ability to reason will have the room it needs to operate.
As a result, you'll be able to deal with the situation effectively.
So the next time your find yourself getting upset, take a deep breath, calm down, and consider what makes sense - at that moment AND for the long-term.
Your relationship with the people on your team depends on it.
The smallest thing could set him off, so everyone in our department walked around on egg shells, never quite sure when the next explosion might occur.
If I were the one he got upset with, his rant would stay in my mind for days.
It was not a good situation, and a lot of people ended up leaving, including me.
One of the realities of leadership is that things won't always go your way.
Bad things will happen.
People won't always do what you expect them to do.
They sometimes let you down, cause you problems or even work against you.
These unwanted events will frustrate you.
You might feel shock, irritation, anger, or disappointment.
It would be easy to give in to these emotions.
At times like that, it's hard to stay calm and keep your cool.
But if your emotions get more intense, and you act on them, it will only make things worse.
As legendary basketball coach John Wooden wisely observed, "Good judgment, common sense, and reason all fly out the window when emotions kick down your door.
" Lashing out can hurt people.
You can do real damage to relationships with your team members.
If you fail to express your anger in appropriate ways, you'll pay a price.
Even if the victims of your rage don't retaliate in anger, they'll conclude you're insensitive and untrustworthy.
After you've done your damage, you'll have to pick up the pieces.
Just remind yourself that an outburst can frighten people-even hurt them.
You wouldn't deliberately harm someone, so you don't want to do it accidentally by losing your temper.
The key is to explain how you feel and why, after you've calmed down.
This will help you correct the situation that caused your frustration in the first place.
It's hard to stay calm when you're really upset or angry.
It's okay to have these feelings.
Remember that, in your leadership role, it's important to be a strong role model for those who work with you.
You need to be able to control your emotions.
You'll find that your feelings will subside if you don't feed them with more negative thoughts.
When you stay calm, your mind will clear and your ability to reason will have the room it needs to operate.
As a result, you'll be able to deal with the situation effectively.
So the next time your find yourself getting upset, take a deep breath, calm down, and consider what makes sense - at that moment AND for the long-term.
Your relationship with the people on your team depends on it.
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