I'm sure you'll agree that trusting God in the midst of His No's isn't easy! Don't ya just hate it when you have a relationship all worked out in your mind, but it never manifests the way you dreamt it? What's worse is when you've actually started dating someone, and after having given yourself, your time, and more to him or her, God whispers His disapproval and completely steers your life in a totally different direction! Even more devastating is to have been catapulted into singleness due to a horrible divorce which occurred against your will.
To have prayed and believed to be reconciled with your former spouse, of all people, and to have been met with rejection, well, frustrating is an understatement! While you may not understand why God doesn't give you your every heart's desire when it comes to relationships, He does.
Hopefully, a simple jog I took down memory lane will remind you that most of the time, God's No's really mean a later, greater Yes! The other day while I was perusing Face Book, a particular profile picture seemed to jump out at me.
The photo was of lady who married a man I used to have a crush on.
At the time of the crush, he was single, but I had a boyfriend.
It wasn't his availability (he was not married) that drew me, nor his good looks.
Rather, if you couple those two characteristics with an awesome, fun personality, and throw in that he seemed to have a super close relationship with the Lord then, well, you get the picture.
He was the total package! What single Christian woman wouldn't be attracted to an outgoing, confident man of God like him? I know I was! Seeing him on a regular basis at church only kept my heart fluttering! You see, he was the lead college and singles minister at our church, and I was in his class.
Years later I reminisced with another adult who taught alongside him and learned that mine wasn't the only crush.
Lots of gals liked him.
I kept my attraction to him on the downlow due to the serious relationship in which I was involved at the time.
I thought the fling with him that existed in my mind would disappear, and it eventually did.
However, before the feelings dissipated, I prayed things like, "Lord, if you'll give me someone like him first, then I'll break up with the guy I'm currently dating.
" What I meant was, "God, If you'll conform to my will and give me what I think I want, then I'll break off things with this pretty good guy I don't think I want to marry.
" After much prayer and wise counsel, not only did God steer me from my crush, but He led me to break off the serious relationship turned engagement which I had been involved in for more than eight years! Each of the million times (I'm exaggerating), God shut the door on a relationship I pursued or prompted me to break up with someone, I expressed my frustration to Him in prayer.
Despite my frustration, God never changed His mind.
Trust me when I say I know what it feels like to believe God is all powerful and to have prayed a long time requesting His miraculous power to help one relationship or another work out, all to no avail.
I also know how it is to have to continue on as a single while yearning to be married.
I remember full well the days of wondering what in the world God was doing, and questioning whether He really had great marriage plans for me.
If you are in a similar place, I can empathize with you BIG time.
Gratefully, I can also encourage you by sharing more of my story.
Praise God I (and you can too) eventually experienced the latter half of Proverbs 30:5 which reads that, "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning!" My friend, there is hope! Finally, after surrendering the right to play matchmaker in my life and forfeiting all romantic relationships strictly for the purpose of drawing closer to Jesus, I found something I never imagined I would attain until after I got married, contentment! Then, right about the time I actually started enjoying the unmarried life, God brought me the man of my dreams! So here I now sit ten years after being married, able to rejoice for every No God dished out over the course of my single life.
I'm able to tell you that even though some of those guys I desired to date might have made great husbands, not one would have matched me as perfectly as the man God brought me in His perfect way and time.
God's gracious refusals to conform to my will were His way of steering me toward the very best gift in the way of the amazing husband, beautiful family, life, and ministry I so enjoy today! I am so grateful The Lord never accepted my invitation to pull up a chair in my single mind and play the dating games I construed on a regular basis.
He won't play your games either.
Friend, God has an awesome man or women He designed specifically for you.
He has made someone for all the ex's of your life as well, even the ex-crushes! He isn't interested in your plan, even your good plan.
Rather, God's heart yearns to give you the very best in the way of a mate! I pray that someday soon you are able to thank Him not only for your spouse, but for every unanswered prayer.
Remember, God's No's are really like arrows pointing you to a greater Yes!