Updated June 10, 2015.

Some moms choose a mother blessing as an alternative to a baby shower. Maybe they have all the baby gear they need or maybe they just want something with a little more depth and heart. You don’t have to choose just one. A mother blessing can also be the soulful complement to a baby shower.

Here’s how to plan a mother blessing, in 5 steps:

• Get some sister support. A mother blessing shouldn’t really be something you plan for yourself. It’s an opportunity for folks in your community to shower blessings on you (and your baby and your partner). Ask a sister or a close friend to plan it for you. Then send her this article. You may also be able to find someone in your area who will plan a mother blessing for a fee. But don’t stop reading here. Whoever plans your mother blessing will want to know what you’re hoping for.

• Clarify your intention. By planning a mother blessing you’re going off-roading, so you’ll need to bring a map. What’s your intention or purpose for this mother blessing? It’s not necessarily the same as anybody else’s. You should be able to distill it down to a few words or a sentence. Spend some time clarifying your intention. It might be something like: To receive the love and wisdom of the mothers in my community or To help me to prepare to make the spiritual transition to motherhood or To provide emotional support for my labor and birth. Be sure to share this with the person planning your mother blessing!
• Choose your activities. When you know your intention, you’ll have a better idea of who to invite, and you or the person whose help you’ve enlisted can choose what components of a blessing ceremony will make the most sense for you. You’ll want to start the gathering with welcoming the guests and some way of marking that you’re entering into the sacred blessing circle. You could do this by saying a prayer that is part of your religious tradition, asking each guest to speak her name as you go around a circle, or lighting a single candle as a focal point. Then comes the heart of the mother blessing. Some activities you might want to choose include:
  Mama adornment. Give mama’s body some pampering. Brush out her hair. Place a crown of flowers on her head. Soak her feet. Massage her feet and hands. Adorn her belly with body paints or henna designs. Only choose what she’ll enjoy and what will make her feel like a queen.
  
  Prayer flags. Give each person a piece of colorful fabric and have fabric markers on hand. Everyone can draw or write blessings on the fabric and then these can be strung up as a reminder for the mama of the support that surrounds her as she moves toward birth.
  
  Birth necklace. Ask each person ahead of time to bring a single bead to represent their wishes or blessings for the mama. The beads can be presented to her one a time and the well wishes spoken as they are presented. String the beads together and you have a garland of blessings to be worn for strength during labor.
  
  Telling stories. Go around the circle and invite each person to tell a story to build up some collective wisdom. Maybe ask for the story of how each person gave birth, or of how they were born, or how they met the mama, or of how they learned something important about parenting.
  
  Candles for the birth. Have candles available and pass one out to each person. When mama goes into labor activate a calling tree or a group email to let everyone know. They can all light their candles to recall the blessing circle and the web of support woven by the assembled group.
  
  Whatever you do, before everyone leaves, be sure to eat well. A mother blessing should be a celebration, and mama should be nourished, not drained, by the activities.
  

• Rock the hostess action. Another reason to enlist help in planning your mother blessing is that, like a traditional baby shower, it’s also a party. Somebody needs to rock the hostess skills and make sure guests are invited in a timely fashion, delicious treats are ready to be consumed, and any other practical details are taken care of so you can all really enjoy this special time. And that brings us to the final step…
• Soak Up the love. Once it’s time for the mother blessing, the mama’s job is to sit back, put up her feet, and soak up all the love the community can give her. Don’t forget to have tissues on hand – it can get pretty emotional.

That's it, really, but if you want to go deeper into the details of how and why to plan a mother blessing, you might like to check out a whole book on the subject. Try Mother Rising: The Blessingway Journey Into Motherhood or Blessingways: A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers--Celebrating Pregnancy, Birth, and Motherhood.