Consequences for a Child Who Runs Away From Home
- Children that run away do so for a reason, so ensure that the consequences also tackle the root cause.asian girl standing in front of a white wall image by Gina Smith from Fotolia.com
Between 1.6 and 2.8 million youths run away from their homes each year, according to the National Runaway Switchboard. Most children who run away do so because of a family crisis; they're in trouble and fear a severe punishment; or there are family stresses creating an overwhelming need to escape. When the child is found, the consequences should be sensitive to the underlying problem while showing that running away is not acceptable. While a form of punishment is necessary, allow time to settle after the child returns and concentrate on just being happy that he is back. - While this does not seem like a consequence, it is difficult for some children to have an honest conversation about their feelings and why the need was felt to run away. Concentrate on any actions that you can do to ensure your child's needs are met and what can be done to improve the situation and tackle any problem. Make a commitment to finding a resolution and see to it that your child knows you are behind him. If your child ran away because he did something bad and feared the consequences, then comfort him so that he does not fear to come to you in the future with his needs.
- Send your child to his bedroom without access to the telephone, computer or TV. Give him an assignment, asking him to write down what is troubling him, why he felt it was necessary to run away, what he learned while gone, what he hopes for in the future and what he thinks you can do to help. When he is done writing, review his work and think carefully about what he has said. Afterward, discuss what happened to you when you realized he was gone, how it affected you and what you hope for in the future. Go through his assignment and work out a plan together to ensure this does not happen again. This consequence is best if you and your child truly have trouble communicating in person, as it provides you with a way to enter into this much needed conversation.
- Require that you and your entire family attend regular family counseling sessions to solve the problems. Pay attention when your child is talking so you can acknowledge and support your his struggle. Understand what he is going through, but do not lecture or label him. You can also take this time to discuss feelings, give your child choices instead of orders and provide positive praise. By attending counseling sessions, you can learn to apply all of these tips while in an environment where your child can learn how to better communicate with you.
Heart-to-Heart Conversation
Reflection Time
Family Counselor
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