- 1). Never over-ride her on any kind of decisions regarding the children. She is very sensitive about her children and even though you are also a part of their lives, you must never disrespect any of her decisions.
- 2). Do not try to win them over by buying expensive gifts. You do not want her to feel like you are trying to make her look like she can't afford to buy her kids the things that she would love to buy them. You definitely don't want to spoil them. If you want to buy something special that is a larger ticket item, talk to their father and have him make the decision about what kind of expensive things to buy for them.
- 3). Do not make her children feel like outsiders, especially if you have your own children. Not only will it make her feel angry, it will hurt their feelings. Involve everyone in everything when your husband's children are around.
- 4). Never say anything negative about their mother in front of the children. This will confuse them and it will get back to their mother. It's not fair no matter how you may feel.
- 5). Let yourself love the children. Let them know you are not trying to take their mother's place. You are just another person who wants to share their lives and that you will love them as if they were your own. But always let them know that you aren't trying to take their mother's place.
- 6). If you think that their mother is doing something wrong or inappropriate and it's not life threatening or would cause harm, speak to your husband about it and let him make the decisions on how to handle it.
- 7). Talk to the Ex and try to be friends with her. Ask her for suggestions on things regarding the kids. If she thinks of you as an Ally, then your relationship should be good.
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