We've all heard the expression, "Dress For Success," and we know how important this concept is in terms of not only feeling confident within ourselves, but in portraying ourselves to others as confident, put together, successful, etc.
But what about "Dressing For Success" in terms of our relationship? It seems odd to me that many of us spend a lot of time and energy making ourselves look our best for everyone else outside of our relationship, and then we "dress down" when we get home to be with our partners.
These are some of the habits that individuals fall into when they start to get comfortable in their long-term relationship.
We get up in the morning, shower, dress for "success" in our suits or dresses, put on makeup, perfume or cologne, etc.
and then head out the door.
So, what happens at the end of the work day, when you're on your way home? Do you loosen the tie, or rush in the door to throw your hair in a pony-tail and put on your torn sweats and baggy, stained t-shirt? What is this saying to your partner? Many of us women like to go out for a "girls' night" occasionally, and we'll get super fancied-up, hot-sexy shirt, perfume, super-cute heels, because we want to look nice around our friends.
But then when date-night rolls around, do we do the same thing? Do we take the same time and effort to look nice when we're going out with our partners as we do for our friends? If not, there's a clear message we're sending them, and it's not the message that says, "You matter.
" I know what's it's like to settle into a relationship, get "comfortable" and allow myself to get lazy with my appearance when I'm hanging out at home.
It's easy to fall into this habit.
But I also know how confident I feel knowing that I look good when I'm with my partner.
It's the same type of confidence a person has when they are conducting a business call dressed in a nice shirt and pants versus in sweats or pajamas.
I remember coming home from work one night several years ago and I had a friend and co-worker in the car with me.
While we were driving to my house, I reached into my purse and put on some lip gloss, checked my eyes for any mascara runs, and fluffed my hair a little in the mirror.
My friend gave me a funny look and said, "What are you doing? You're on your way home?" And I said, "I know, but Paul [my husband] is gonna be there, and I want to look good.
" This wasn't early on in our marriage, either; this was about six years in.
I realized right then that I had created this habit of "dressing up" or wanting to look nice when I was around my husband, and he does the same thing.
Many other successful couples I know, are in the habit of doing this as well.
It really makes a difference in the relationship.
I'm not suggesting you have to be your best dressed all day and all night long.
It feels good to come home and take off the work clothes to put some casual, comfortable clothing on, especially towards the end of the evening.
I'm just suggesting that you be conscious of what you're doing (or not doing) with your appearance when you're getting ready to be with your partner.
Be aware of the message you are sending them when you are dressing up for everyone else besides them.
When you take the time to look good when you're around your partner, you're really demonstrating that you care what they think of you.
It shows them that you want to look nice for them, and for yourself.