Death is a robber and thief, takes away,but grief and sorrow can give it back.
As hard as it is and perhaps daunting at the time it ispossible to recover from grief with new strengths, a new focus and a new direction.
To grieve isnatural and healthy.
The healing process starts as you releaseyourgrief, and start torecognize and sort your emotions ( which can be conflictingat times) and move to the acceptance of your loved one's death.
The healing process will bring an increased awareness and new understanding.
A child once told me that she had seen a rainbow near the beach where she and her deceased brother had played.
She said that the rainbow was his way of letting her know that everything was okay and she should stop worryingabout him.
What is synonymous of New Zealand arethe number of crosses that have been erected along roadwaysto mark thedeath of a loved one in a fatal accident.
This is not onlya reminderfor the families setting up a memorial for there loved one but has made the public aware of a death and to slow down.
Many of these road side memorials are lovingly cared for (with flowers)year after year.
Whether it is a cross or rainbow we all need something in our lives when a loved one dies.
We need to arrive at that place of rest and peace, and go on with our lives whether we are six years old or sixty.
5.
Ways to Commemorate a loved one.
1.
Celebrate the life on the day of death.
Make this a special day for you and your family.
I know ofa family who always made it a fun day- a meal out and a visit tothe movies.
2.
Plant a tree A tree represents new life and a living tribute to the deceased.
As the tree grows tall and strong in statureso will you andthe family.
3.
Display Photographs.
Make adisplay board for the photos.
I saw a wonderful example ofphotosenlarged on the photocopierthen pastedon alarge piece of particle board.
Asthephotos were not all the same size they overlapped.
Theboard was then sprayed witha clear sealant.
Itwould make a wonderful activity for children.
4.
Visit the grave.
Let this time be a positive reflection,not occasions for sadness.
You might find it comforting to voice your thoughts andfeelings to the loved one.
If you have children present make sure that they understand that this is not "contacting" theperson but rather theexpression of comforting oneself.
5.
Establish a commemorative tradition in the community.
Create a scholarship fund at your local school,give a trophy toa football team,maintain a flower bed in yourneighbourhood or city ..
..
..
...
these are all uplifting and lasting ways tocommemoratethe deceased.
Commemoration is a vital part of healing and recovery.
It promotes acceptance of the loss and helps the survivors move forward.
There is no longer any room for guilt, remorse, or regret.
Instead we are filled with love and peace.
I will leave youwith a prayer written in 1934 by Reinhold Niebuhr God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, And wisdom to now the difference.
As hard as it is and perhaps daunting at the time it ispossible to recover from grief with new strengths, a new focus and a new direction.
To grieve isnatural and healthy.
The healing process starts as you releaseyourgrief, and start torecognize and sort your emotions ( which can be conflictingat times) and move to the acceptance of your loved one's death.
The healing process will bring an increased awareness and new understanding.
A child once told me that she had seen a rainbow near the beach where she and her deceased brother had played.
She said that the rainbow was his way of letting her know that everything was okay and she should stop worryingabout him.
What is synonymous of New Zealand arethe number of crosses that have been erected along roadwaysto mark thedeath of a loved one in a fatal accident.
This is not onlya reminderfor the families setting up a memorial for there loved one but has made the public aware of a death and to slow down.
Many of these road side memorials are lovingly cared for (with flowers)year after year.
Whether it is a cross or rainbow we all need something in our lives when a loved one dies.
We need to arrive at that place of rest and peace, and go on with our lives whether we are six years old or sixty.
5.
Ways to Commemorate a loved one.
1.
Celebrate the life on the day of death.
Make this a special day for you and your family.
I know ofa family who always made it a fun day- a meal out and a visit tothe movies.
2.
Plant a tree A tree represents new life and a living tribute to the deceased.
As the tree grows tall and strong in statureso will you andthe family.
3.
Display Photographs.
Make adisplay board for the photos.
I saw a wonderful example ofphotosenlarged on the photocopierthen pastedon alarge piece of particle board.
Asthephotos were not all the same size they overlapped.
Theboard was then sprayed witha clear sealant.
Itwould make a wonderful activity for children.
4.
Visit the grave.
Let this time be a positive reflection,not occasions for sadness.
You might find it comforting to voice your thoughts andfeelings to the loved one.
If you have children present make sure that they understand that this is not "contacting" theperson but rather theexpression of comforting oneself.
5.
Establish a commemorative tradition in the community.
Create a scholarship fund at your local school,give a trophy toa football team,maintain a flower bed in yourneighbourhood or city ..
..
..
...
these are all uplifting and lasting ways tocommemoratethe deceased.
Commemoration is a vital part of healing and recovery.
It promotes acceptance of the loss and helps the survivors move forward.
There is no longer any room for guilt, remorse, or regret.
Instead we are filled with love and peace.
I will leave youwith a prayer written in 1934 by Reinhold Niebuhr God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, And wisdom to now the difference.
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