Sometimes, a once happy couple will find themselves in the midst of a divorce while both are wondering what went wrong. Many times, one of them will start to feel panicky and not want to follow through with the divorce. They might start to grasp at anything they can to just slow things down so they can find a way to stop their divorce.
At this point, however, it may be really difficult to stop the divorce. There are some mistakes however that are easily made out of desperation that should be avoided if you're trying to win back your spouse. These are probably going to be things you'll have to work hard not to do because they might feel like the only solution.
Taking a bit of extra time to slow things down is not a bad thing, even if you end up deciding to continue your divorce in the end. Chances are your spouse is having some doubts about the decision to divorce and may also secretly wish things could work out, although she may not be able to see how you will ever get from here to there.
If it's your desire to stop your divorce, try to be sincere in everything you say and do. Don't make outlandish promises that you'll change or be better. There is no substance to these promises and if you're already to the point of divorce, the other spouse will think it's too late to hear these things that may not be genuine in the first place. Even if it's true, saying you've changed will not stop your divorce.
The best way is to say nothing and take action. At this point in a relationship, mere words will do nothing for your case. Your partner needs to see action to see that you've changed. However, she may be skeptical and thinking things will go back to the way they were before if she comes back. Don't go overboard in trying to do the things you know she would have liked years ago. Basically, what I'm saying here, is do things that really feel sincere and that you really do want to do. If you cower down too much and start giving out too many foot rubs after you've just been insulted, you will appear weak which is not usually a quality a woman finds attractive, no matter what they say.
Another mistake you'll need to avoid is arguing. When couples get to this point, emotions are so high, it seems they argue over everything. If you're trying to win her back, don't engage in the argument. Don't use this opportunity to show her how she's been wrong all this time. Try to keep a cool head when she's upset. Do everything you can to keep the conversations from getting heated. But don't allow her to be rude to you either. If she starts that, tell her you're happy to continue the conversation later when she's had time to sort through her feelings. Politely end the phone call. Remember, a woman does not want to see you cower down and let her run the show. She will not find this attractive. But, if you are not willing to argue with her and not allowing her to walk all over you at the same time, this is a quality women love.
If you are trying to stop your divorce, the best thing to do is to tell her that. Ask her for more time to work things out. Ask her to go to counseling with you. Go yourself, even if she doesn't go. Be honest with the counselor because they can't help you make the changes you need to make if they don't know the real story. Over time, as she sees you truly changing, she might start wanting to come with you. But, at the beginning you may just need to show her you are serious about wanting to fix your marriage. This could take a long time, so be patient and remember that the worst case scenario is that you will end up a better person regardless of what happens in your current marriage. You will know you did everything you could to bring it back.
At this point, however, it may be really difficult to stop the divorce. There are some mistakes however that are easily made out of desperation that should be avoided if you're trying to win back your spouse. These are probably going to be things you'll have to work hard not to do because they might feel like the only solution.
Taking a bit of extra time to slow things down is not a bad thing, even if you end up deciding to continue your divorce in the end. Chances are your spouse is having some doubts about the decision to divorce and may also secretly wish things could work out, although she may not be able to see how you will ever get from here to there.
If it's your desire to stop your divorce, try to be sincere in everything you say and do. Don't make outlandish promises that you'll change or be better. There is no substance to these promises and if you're already to the point of divorce, the other spouse will think it's too late to hear these things that may not be genuine in the first place. Even if it's true, saying you've changed will not stop your divorce.
The best way is to say nothing and take action. At this point in a relationship, mere words will do nothing for your case. Your partner needs to see action to see that you've changed. However, she may be skeptical and thinking things will go back to the way they were before if she comes back. Don't go overboard in trying to do the things you know she would have liked years ago. Basically, what I'm saying here, is do things that really feel sincere and that you really do want to do. If you cower down too much and start giving out too many foot rubs after you've just been insulted, you will appear weak which is not usually a quality a woman finds attractive, no matter what they say.
Another mistake you'll need to avoid is arguing. When couples get to this point, emotions are so high, it seems they argue over everything. If you're trying to win her back, don't engage in the argument. Don't use this opportunity to show her how she's been wrong all this time. Try to keep a cool head when she's upset. Do everything you can to keep the conversations from getting heated. But don't allow her to be rude to you either. If she starts that, tell her you're happy to continue the conversation later when she's had time to sort through her feelings. Politely end the phone call. Remember, a woman does not want to see you cower down and let her run the show. She will not find this attractive. But, if you are not willing to argue with her and not allowing her to walk all over you at the same time, this is a quality women love.
If you are trying to stop your divorce, the best thing to do is to tell her that. Ask her for more time to work things out. Ask her to go to counseling with you. Go yourself, even if she doesn't go. Be honest with the counselor because they can't help you make the changes you need to make if they don't know the real story. Over time, as she sees you truly changing, she might start wanting to come with you. But, at the beginning you may just need to show her you are serious about wanting to fix your marriage. This could take a long time, so be patient and remember that the worst case scenario is that you will end up a better person regardless of what happens in your current marriage. You will know you did everything you could to bring it back.
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