Baby Development: Your 10-Month-Old
The good news is that if you happen to have been given a difficult child, it's clear that, in the long run, they will do as well as the easy child, as long as the "goodness of fit" between you and your child is maintained and bolstered. That means, despite exasperating challenges (especially as a toddler), you:
When there is a good fit, parents recognize their child and their temperament, respect it, work with it, and help the child to use those traits in a positive way. When that happens, those kids have shown to do as well as anyone. But if a parent just can't accept the child they have been given and constantly tries to revolutionize that child's entire personality, in the process demeaning and diminishing who that child really is, there is major grief in store.
In these articles I've tried to help you to understand and to discover your child. Of all the lenses by which you'll try to figure him out, I'd put temperament right up there at the top.
Baby Development: Your 10-Month-Old
Raising a Difficult Child
The good news is that if you happen to have been given a difficult child, it's clear that, in the long run, they will do as well as the easy child, as long as the "goodness of fit" between you and your child is maintained and bolstered. That means, despite exasperating challenges (especially as a toddler), you:
- Understand that it is no one's fault (not yours, not his).
- Try, as best you can, to appreciate him for who his, not who you want him to be.
- Be sure he does not feels demeaned, diminished, and inferior because of the behavioral challenges.
- Figure out ways to allow the difficult temperamental traits to slowly become modified, smoothing the rough edges, while not trying to invent a whole new person.
When there is a good fit, parents recognize their child and their temperament, respect it, work with it, and help the child to use those traits in a positive way. When that happens, those kids have shown to do as well as anyone. But if a parent just can't accept the child they have been given and constantly tries to revolutionize that child's entire personality, in the process demeaning and diminishing who that child really is, there is major grief in store.
In these articles I've tried to help you to understand and to discover your child. Of all the lenses by which you'll try to figure him out, I'd put temperament right up there at the top.
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