Life is a hard journey. Lucky for us, relationships make it so that we don't have to travel down the roads of life on our own. Unfortunately, sometimes an unhealthy relationship can lead to additional hardships instead of helping us through the tough times like we want them to. These traits aren't always a relationship death sentence, but they can be a sign that you need to find companionship elsewhere.
It's normal in a relationship to find the occasional flaw with your significant other. Maybe they chew a little louder than you'd like or their road rage puts you on edge. However, once you notice these flaws and try to change them, you're overstepping your boundaries.
A huge part of relationships is finding the positive in the other person and working to bring that great trait out even more. If you find yourself or your partner trying to change each other's negative qualities, you aren't happy in the relationship.
If there is that much wrong with your partner that you feel the need to change everything you hate, you need to either start focusing on the positive things you love or find someone else who has more of those positive characteristics.
A little competition in a relationship is perfectly normal. But if you find that you and your significant other are going beyond the playful scorekeeping for the license plate game and have ventured into counting favors, you've gone too far.
It is never a good idea to tally up the good deeds that you've done and compare them to the bad things your partner has done. If you're doing this, you may be trying to motivate them to do better. What you're actually doing, though, is building yourself up by tearing them down.
Instead of tracking all of the actions you hate, start giving praise for the positive things that happen. It's important to discuss why you feel the need to keep this score with your partner.
When you're in a new and exciting relationship, it can be tempting to take things a little too quickly. You go from the third date to moving in together in almost no time at all. While you could justify this by saying that you're too in love to be apart, it's actually a bad sign for your relationship.
Becoming too close too quick can lead to skipping important steps. When you don't focus on having a strong foundation for your relationship, your love for each other won't always be enough to hold it together.
Rather than rushing your feelings, take time to figure things out for yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel pressured by the other person. You don't need to hurry through the relationship to help with insecure feelings. Remember that relationships are a journey, not a race. Good relationships have no end point; bad ones have an expiration date.
There is some dispute these days about who a relationship is really for. Whether you believe it is for you or for the other person, there's no doubt that if you don't feel fulfilled in the relationship, it's not going to work.
Lack of fulfillment can come for a variety of reasons. If you aren't treated as an equal partner, you won't feel like you matter. Additionally, if your significant other shows traits like jealousy, over-attachment, possessiveness, and belittlement, you should address them about how that makes you feel.
Be careful to watch for signs of abuse. It may start out simply as a few hurtful words here and there or the person trying to make you feel guilty, but this can easily escalate into a more severe situation like domestic assault. If you feel comfortable talking with your partner about how you feel, be sure to do so before things escalate. However, if you're afraid of consequences from that conversation, confide in a trusted friend or a support group for help.
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Healthy relationships need to be built on good traits like trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, and even vulnerability. If you feel like you might be pursuing an unhealthy relationship, talk with your significant other to decide if they feel the same way. Work something out so that you're going in the same direction to pursue a healthier relationship, or end your romance. Whatever you choose, remember to do what's best for both parties—but especially what will be best for you. Always be aware of these signs, including the early warning signs of domestic assaults. In the case of physical abuse, seek help immediately from a support group or attorney like Mackay & Company.
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If you aren't happy in a relationship, you can't be expected to make someone else happy either.
1. You Try to Change Each Other
It's normal in a relationship to find the occasional flaw with your significant other. Maybe they chew a little louder than you'd like or their road rage puts you on edge. However, once you notice these flaws and try to change them, you're overstepping your boundaries.
A huge part of relationships is finding the positive in the other person and working to bring that great trait out even more. If you find yourself or your partner trying to change each other's negative qualities, you aren't happy in the relationship.
If there is that much wrong with your partner that you feel the need to change everything you hate, you need to either start focusing on the positive things you love or find someone else who has more of those positive characteristics.
2. You Keep Score
A little competition in a relationship is perfectly normal. But if you find that you and your significant other are going beyond the playful scorekeeping for the license plate game and have ventured into counting favors, you've gone too far.
It is never a good idea to tally up the good deeds that you've done and compare them to the bad things your partner has done. If you're doing this, you may be trying to motivate them to do better. What you're actually doing, though, is building yourself up by tearing them down.
Instead of tracking all of the actions you hate, start giving praise for the positive things that happen. It's important to discuss why you feel the need to keep this score with your partner.
3. You Rush through Your Relationship
When you're in a new and exciting relationship, it can be tempting to take things a little too quickly. You go from the third date to moving in together in almost no time at all. While you could justify this by saying that you're too in love to be apart, it's actually a bad sign for your relationship.
Becoming too close too quick can lead to skipping important steps. When you don't focus on having a strong foundation for your relationship, your love for each other won't always be enough to hold it together.
Rather than rushing your feelings, take time to figure things out for yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel pressured by the other person. You don't need to hurry through the relationship to help with insecure feelings. Remember that relationships are a journey, not a race. Good relationships have no end point; bad ones have an expiration date.
4. You Don't Feel Fulfilled
There is some dispute these days about who a relationship is really for. Whether you believe it is for you or for the other person, there's no doubt that if you don't feel fulfilled in the relationship, it's not going to work.
Lack of fulfillment can come for a variety of reasons. If you aren't treated as an equal partner, you won't feel like you matter. Additionally, if your significant other shows traits like jealousy, over-attachment, possessiveness, and belittlement, you should address them about how that makes you feel.
Be careful to watch for signs of abuse. It may start out simply as a few hurtful words here and there or the person trying to make you feel guilty, but this can easily escalate into a more severe situation like domestic assault. If you feel comfortable talking with your partner about how you feel, be sure to do so before things escalate. However, if you're afraid of consequences from that conversation, confide in a trusted friend or a support group for help.
Â
Healthy relationships need to be built on good traits like trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, and even vulnerability. If you feel like you might be pursuing an unhealthy relationship, talk with your significant other to decide if they feel the same way. Work something out so that you're going in the same direction to pursue a healthier relationship, or end your romance. Whatever you choose, remember to do what's best for both parties—but especially what will be best for you. Always be aware of these signs, including the early warning signs of domestic assaults. In the case of physical abuse, seek help immediately from a support group or attorney like Mackay & Company.
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If you aren't happy in a relationship, you can't be expected to make someone else happy either.
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