A major dating mistake that can sabotage a relationship is the decision to Marry too Quickly because a hasty decision before knowing your partner well enough can prove disastrous.
Ever known a couple that met and married within a couple months? Are they still happily together? Excuse me, how in the world do you think you really "know" someone in a couple months? Anyone can put on an "I'm a perfect match for you happy face" for six months.
Maybe even a year.
But, what about waking up every morning staring to the same face--for a lifetime? He hates his job? I thought you loved your job! You want the dogs to live inside the house? What, you spent the money we saved for vacation on a new motorcycle? The thermostat is set too high? --but I'm freezing! You didn't tell me you thought you had diabetes.
You want to become a vegetarian, but I love meat! Get rid of cable? But all my favorite shows are on cable, and so it goes.
Believe me, you don't want these kinds of surprises after the wedding day.
Learn this stuff BEFORE marriage.
This is what dating brings to light so take your time.
How does he handle anger? Does he want children? What if you both lose your jobs? How is he going to handle his interfering mother? Is he dependable? Punctual or does he make excuses? Is he a slob or neat freak? Would he want you to relocate? How does he speak to you when he's under pressure or angry? Does he possess the social skills you desire? Is he spiritual? What is his attitude about weight? Your looks? How does he handle sickness? Does he flirt with other women? How does he feel about monogamy? Have you spent enough time with both families? How do you handle arguments? Point is, to make a wise choice, you must KNOW the man.
And that goes far beyond superficial ordinary things in common.
You need to experience the ins and outs of daily life enough to know each other deeply.
You need to know each other's likes and dislikes in major areas of life; otherwise you can short-circuit a relationship.
What! You've never had an argument? Oh, oh, you're in trouble.
That tells me you're glossing over potential problem areas.
There is no perfect marriage.
Problems do and will arise.
If you don't discuss that likelihood now and what areas are of concern, your fantasy castle could fall down and crumble into a thousand pieces.
So you'd better take the time to determine who he truly is deep down inside.
Research has shown there is a strong correlation between lengths of time spent dating getting to know your partner well before marriage, and long term martial satisfaction.
Also couples that dated for more than two years found consistently more satisfaction in marriage while couples that had dated for shorter periods reported lower satisfaction after marriage.
Lower satisfaction is also true of hurry-up second marriages.
Often a person is so lonely they quickly seek new love.
Or they feel rejected and marry on the rebound.
These marriages generally don't last.
Bottom line is that love and marriage is complex.
It takes know-how, insight and work to forge two diverse personalities into one harmonious union.
Therefore you are wise to take the time necessary to evaluate a prospective mate carefully.
Analyze the long-term potential as well as the immediate excitement.
Wait until you get to know him in a lot of different ways.
It's much easier getting into marriage than living through hell trying to get out of a bad one.
You do NOT want to short-circuit your relationship.
Take your time to make the best choice and do not marry too quickly!