Who are you? Whether you are crossing a border, a town, or just crossing the street, the foremost question on any person's mind when they come in contact with you is "Who are you?".
They want to know who you are so they can know how to interact with the person now before them.
If you are a policeman they will respond to you differently than if you are a salesman.
If you're a lawyer, you may not get the same conversation as a farmer or a preacher.
How you interact with others is in large part related to who you are.
The question doesn't really have to be just on the surface to be of great significance.
If you want your marriage to take a different path than it is on now, you really need to internalize that question.
The way you respond to that question to yourself can make all the difference in the world to your relationships.
Who are you? If your answer to yourself is that you are a teacher, jet pilot, or accountant, then your focus is going to be on the things that make you successful in that field of expertise.
You are likely to see those things as primarily important to how you spend not only your time and physical energies, but also how you spend your emotional energy.
Of course, it is vitally important that you spend a great deal of effort in your occupation and improving yourself in your chosen trade.
However, if you want to improve the likelihood of success in your marriage I would challenge you to take a slightly different approach.
How would it change your focus and priorities in life if you really believed you were first and foremost a child and servant of God? Would it make a difference in the way you treated those you interact with each day? Would it make a difference in the way you treat your spouse and children? I think it would if you followed his example of love and forgiveness.
How would it change your marriage if you answered "Who are you?" with "I am a loving spouse!"? Well, if it were just empty words, then it probably wouldn't make much difference at all.
But if you put the same energy and commitment into making that true that you might put into your job, then it could make a world of difference.
If you make your relationships the cornerstone of your existence, then that is what will define you and that is what you will excel at.
Too often in our society people put their occupations before anything else.
They let their job or even sometimes their hobby define who they are.
They are so caught up in chasing the dream of a bigger boat or a nicer car or a more powerful position, that they don't have the time or energy to invest significantly in their relationships.
The result is broken homes, neglected spouses, and depressed children.
Don't let that happen to you and your family.
Put as much study into learning how to be a better spouse as you would put into learning how to be a better teacher.
Hone your skills as a loving partner just as you would to improve your abilities as a jet pilot.
Pay attention to the details in making your marriage better just as an accountant would labor over the numbers in a ledger.
You see, a better marriage really does start in the mind first.
You can't change who your spouse is but you can make up your mind to improve you.
Start by honestly answering the question "Who are you?".