Queen of the Castle - Gaining Respect From Your Children
I've heard many moms say, "He just doesn't listen!" Or "How many times do I need to tell her before she'll do as she's asked?" This issue is mainly for toddlers and preschool children on up.
Toddlers are finding their own will but do not yet respond to the complexity and order of language the way older children do.
Toddlers simply follow their impulses and it is up to us to redirect them if necessary.
However, all children regardless of age are able to feel/sense whether we are confident and clear and they respond to that by acting out or not.
Children are sensitive to our inner states and respond by challenging us to be present, loving and clear when we are not.
(There are also situations where they are responding to more than our inner states.
This can be seen with physical issues like food allergies, candida overgrowth, rashes, and other childhood disease or genetic issues.
) This is where holding a mantel of authority comes in.
When we are feeling strong, clear and expressing ourselves from a state of empowerment, our children either listen or we take the opportunity to teach them in simple and loving terms about what is expected.
Life just flows.
Likewise, when we are "off" and feeling distracted, disconnected from our children or tired, this is usually when our children will test our limits the most.
Children have needs to be met.
It is our job to meet them.
We meet them, not by being a slave to our children, but by knowing what to give.
One of childrens' greatest needs is for structure and boundaries.
If we are unclear about the best way to handle their behavior, they will continue challenging us with it until we step into our authority and clarify the limits.
When we are certain of what is acceptable, they will trust us and listen.
They need us to be the authority, guide, teacher and empowered mama so that they can relax and be a child.
Their anxiety will dissolve if they are aware of what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not listen.
They rely on us for this.
If we are not providing this in some way, they will let us know.
The most effective way to develop a clear mind, strong boundaries, flexibility in communication, fun and easy interactions and respect from our children is to embody self-respect.
To feel like the queen of the household whom expects to be treated as such.
The more we believe we are worthy of respect, the more we will receive it.
Likewise the more we believe negative thoughts about ourselves, the more we identify with them and draw in poor treatment from our children and other family members.
The meditation "Queen of the Castle" is designed to create an inner shift in our ability to hold a mantel of respect and authority while strengthening love and connection with our children and ourselves.
Toddlers are finding their own will but do not yet respond to the complexity and order of language the way older children do.
Toddlers simply follow their impulses and it is up to us to redirect them if necessary.
However, all children regardless of age are able to feel/sense whether we are confident and clear and they respond to that by acting out or not.
Children are sensitive to our inner states and respond by challenging us to be present, loving and clear when we are not.
(There are also situations where they are responding to more than our inner states.
This can be seen with physical issues like food allergies, candida overgrowth, rashes, and other childhood disease or genetic issues.
) This is where holding a mantel of authority comes in.
When we are feeling strong, clear and expressing ourselves from a state of empowerment, our children either listen or we take the opportunity to teach them in simple and loving terms about what is expected.
Life just flows.
Likewise, when we are "off" and feeling distracted, disconnected from our children or tired, this is usually when our children will test our limits the most.
Children have needs to be met.
It is our job to meet them.
We meet them, not by being a slave to our children, but by knowing what to give.
One of childrens' greatest needs is for structure and boundaries.
If we are unclear about the best way to handle their behavior, they will continue challenging us with it until we step into our authority and clarify the limits.
When we are certain of what is acceptable, they will trust us and listen.
They need us to be the authority, guide, teacher and empowered mama so that they can relax and be a child.
Their anxiety will dissolve if they are aware of what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not listen.
They rely on us for this.
If we are not providing this in some way, they will let us know.
The most effective way to develop a clear mind, strong boundaries, flexibility in communication, fun and easy interactions and respect from our children is to embody self-respect.
To feel like the queen of the household whom expects to be treated as such.
The more we believe we are worthy of respect, the more we will receive it.
Likewise the more we believe negative thoughts about ourselves, the more we identify with them and draw in poor treatment from our children and other family members.
The meditation "Queen of the Castle" is designed to create an inner shift in our ability to hold a mantel of respect and authority while strengthening love and connection with our children and ourselves.
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