Who does not need improvement in their marriage? Some might say that they are satisfied with what they have in their marriage, but that does not mean that there is no room for improvement.
Typically, we can admit that there is a need for improvement. Our problem is where and how to begin. I want to give you three guidelines to go by as you begin to approach the change that is needed.
1) Work hard at understanding- It is easy to jump out of the shoot ready to fix every problem in our marriage, but it is not always effective. Do you have good understanding of what the real problems are? Take some time to evaluate the issues. Include your spouse in the discussion. Refrain from accusations. Just identify what you see as an issue, and then ask what their thoughts are.
2) Communicate your position- There are ways of doing this that can fan the flames of conflict. There are ways of communicating that open the windows of your soul. Opening your soul helps your spouse to keep their guard down, so they can actually hear what you are saying. Starting sentences with phrases like, "It seems to me that…" and "This is how I feel when…" help to diffuse the judgmental, accusatory tone.
3) Commit to improvement- Many people do not like conflict. The longer conflict continues, the more these people want to get away from it. Unfortunately, most couples do not even address issues until it has become a huge problem. You must be committed to your marriage and communicate that you are have only one desire, and that is to see your marriage thrive.
We all have to face the conflicts in our marriages. Any positive action will help towards improving it. Doing nothing will send our marriage to its doom. Because we want the best marriage possible, we will move forward. Make sure that you do so with thoughtfulness and love, because this person is the most important person in your life.
Typically, we can admit that there is a need for improvement. Our problem is where and how to begin. I want to give you three guidelines to go by as you begin to approach the change that is needed.
1) Work hard at understanding- It is easy to jump out of the shoot ready to fix every problem in our marriage, but it is not always effective. Do you have good understanding of what the real problems are? Take some time to evaluate the issues. Include your spouse in the discussion. Refrain from accusations. Just identify what you see as an issue, and then ask what their thoughts are.
2) Communicate your position- There are ways of doing this that can fan the flames of conflict. There are ways of communicating that open the windows of your soul. Opening your soul helps your spouse to keep their guard down, so they can actually hear what you are saying. Starting sentences with phrases like, "It seems to me that…" and "This is how I feel when…" help to diffuse the judgmental, accusatory tone.
3) Commit to improvement- Many people do not like conflict. The longer conflict continues, the more these people want to get away from it. Unfortunately, most couples do not even address issues until it has become a huge problem. You must be committed to your marriage and communicate that you are have only one desire, and that is to see your marriage thrive.
We all have to face the conflicts in our marriages. Any positive action will help towards improving it. Doing nothing will send our marriage to its doom. Because we want the best marriage possible, we will move forward. Make sure that you do so with thoughtfulness and love, because this person is the most important person in your life.
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