A common denominator in people's lives today is stress, but many people have responses to stress that are unhealthy.
And really, we all tend toward our default responses to stress that are generally selfish, defensive, sinful - well, you get the picture.
As we learn the unhealthy responses to stress, we can change those responses and renew our hope for rest and peace in our lives - the way God intended it.
When a sampling is bent over by the wind, it will bounce back unless the stress lasts too long and breaks it.
If you go into the woods and find a sapling about 10 feet tall, you will find that if you bend it and hold it there for a few minutes, it will totally bounce back when you let it go into its upright position.
But if you bend it and hold it for a long time, and then bend it some more, and then some more, it will eventually break.
When you let it go, it won't bounce back - it is broken.
This is what stress and overload activities can do to our lives if we don't learn how to let the "tree" bounce back.
Seven Unhealthy Responses to Stress to Avoid 1.
Escape: This is the response that in short means "I'm out of here!" My dad used this coping mechanism when he deserted our family when I was ten years old.
He literally changed his name, took our one car, left the state, and we didn't see him again for years.
2.
Over-indulging in something: We automatically default to thinking of this category as either being drinking or eating to assuage our stressful feelings.
But over-indulging can also include other things like shopping, working, preoccupation with sex or beauty or fitness, applause, achievement, etc.
Do any of these resonate with you? 3.
Deer in headlights syndrome: Sometimes a coping mechanism will result in us just going numb and going about tasks automatically.
It puts you in a "functioning" mode but not a healthy living mode at all.
4.
Attack others: Too often mature adults will resort to criticizing, making snide remarks, or gossiping about someone else when, in fact, they are under stress about something totally separate from the person they are attacking.
It's the not-so-comical syndrome of dad having a bad performance review at work and then coming home to tell his wife that she never makes a good supper for him.
So then the mom yells at junior for leaving his soccer shoes in the middle of the hallway, and junior kicks the dog.
These are perfect examples of attacking others to cope with stress.
5.
Change circumstances: Stress in relationships can be so overpowering that it can make a person want to change that circumstance.
This could result in changing locations, leaving a job, getting a divorce, and other major life-changing decisions.
6.
Gutting it out: Sometimes a person's learned-response is to just take the lumps - just endure it.
But like waves, it keeps coming and the stress is not being resolved.
There certainly is no rest for their hurting spirit.
In a similar vein would be avoidance - "just ignore the stress and it will go away" idea.
This is often learned from childhood to not deal with stresses head-on but to let them fester rather than handling them Biblically like Matthew 18:15 - 16 tells you - to go directly to the person who has sinned against you to address the problem.
7.
Becoming violent: Road rage, gang murders, wife battery, or even a lesser form like slamming a door are all harmful coping strategies for handling stress.
In fact, the attempt to cope with stress in a violent way actually results in more stress for others involved or present.
This might be the most harmful of all responses.
What are Your Default Responses to Stress? How are you handling stress? Which of these are you guilty of? What is your default response usually? Often just recognizing your unhealthy responses is a start to choosing better ones.
And really, we all tend toward our default responses to stress that are generally selfish, defensive, sinful - well, you get the picture.
As we learn the unhealthy responses to stress, we can change those responses and renew our hope for rest and peace in our lives - the way God intended it.
When a sampling is bent over by the wind, it will bounce back unless the stress lasts too long and breaks it.
If you go into the woods and find a sapling about 10 feet tall, you will find that if you bend it and hold it there for a few minutes, it will totally bounce back when you let it go into its upright position.
But if you bend it and hold it for a long time, and then bend it some more, and then some more, it will eventually break.
When you let it go, it won't bounce back - it is broken.
This is what stress and overload activities can do to our lives if we don't learn how to let the "tree" bounce back.
Seven Unhealthy Responses to Stress to Avoid 1.
Escape: This is the response that in short means "I'm out of here!" My dad used this coping mechanism when he deserted our family when I was ten years old.
He literally changed his name, took our one car, left the state, and we didn't see him again for years.
2.
Over-indulging in something: We automatically default to thinking of this category as either being drinking or eating to assuage our stressful feelings.
But over-indulging can also include other things like shopping, working, preoccupation with sex or beauty or fitness, applause, achievement, etc.
Do any of these resonate with you? 3.
Deer in headlights syndrome: Sometimes a coping mechanism will result in us just going numb and going about tasks automatically.
It puts you in a "functioning" mode but not a healthy living mode at all.
4.
Attack others: Too often mature adults will resort to criticizing, making snide remarks, or gossiping about someone else when, in fact, they are under stress about something totally separate from the person they are attacking.
It's the not-so-comical syndrome of dad having a bad performance review at work and then coming home to tell his wife that she never makes a good supper for him.
So then the mom yells at junior for leaving his soccer shoes in the middle of the hallway, and junior kicks the dog.
These are perfect examples of attacking others to cope with stress.
5.
Change circumstances: Stress in relationships can be so overpowering that it can make a person want to change that circumstance.
This could result in changing locations, leaving a job, getting a divorce, and other major life-changing decisions.
6.
Gutting it out: Sometimes a person's learned-response is to just take the lumps - just endure it.
But like waves, it keeps coming and the stress is not being resolved.
There certainly is no rest for their hurting spirit.
In a similar vein would be avoidance - "just ignore the stress and it will go away" idea.
This is often learned from childhood to not deal with stresses head-on but to let them fester rather than handling them Biblically like Matthew 18:15 - 16 tells you - to go directly to the person who has sinned against you to address the problem.
7.
Becoming violent: Road rage, gang murders, wife battery, or even a lesser form like slamming a door are all harmful coping strategies for handling stress.
In fact, the attempt to cope with stress in a violent way actually results in more stress for others involved or present.
This might be the most harmful of all responses.
What are Your Default Responses to Stress? How are you handling stress? Which of these are you guilty of? What is your default response usually? Often just recognizing your unhealthy responses is a start to choosing better ones.
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