How to Live Together While Going Through a Divorce
- 1). Divide the house, literally. Designate a room that is your personal and private space, and another that is your spouse's area. Respect those barriers. Then decide what you're going to do about common areas, such as the kitchen or family room. If your divorce is amicable, you may be able to share those spaces. If it's not, draw up a schedule as to when each of you will have access to those rooms. When it's your spouse's turn, stay clear.
- 2). Decide how you're going to pay joint household expenses, such as the mortgage and utilities. If both of you work and earn similar incomes, establish a joint household account where each of you deposit a certain amount a month toward fixed expenses. Pay for your own personal expenses, including car payments and maintenance, if your finances allow it. If one of you greatly out-earns the other, you may still be able to still receive spousal maintenance even though you're still living together. Use this for your personal needs.
- 3). Live like roommates, not spouses. If you were single and sharing an apartment with someone, you probably wouldn't do her laundry for her or clean up the mess she left in the kitchen. Draw lines in the sand regarding who is going to do which general household chores, and be responsible about taking care of your own.
- 4). Date with discretion, if you're going to do it at all. Even if both of you are ready to move on, bringing someone new into the home, even if it's just to pick you up, can be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved, especially your children. If one of you needs to be home to care for the kids, give your spouse the courtesy of letting him know ahead of time that you'll be going out, and do the same for him if he has plans.
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