Sometimes, if we have been out of circulation for a while, perhaps preoccupied with work or busy with family commitments, it can feel awkward deciding that it is time to start making an effort to join in with others in social activities.
It may feel trite or unnecessary to feel that we ought to be making an effort to join in with conversations and activities.
But that mindset can sometimes become part of the problem.
Doing nothing can feel like an easier option, but the longer we leave it the harder it can become, as inertia sets in.
Making an effort to join in with others is part of co-existing in the world.
And sometimes that does require doing things that may not appear on our list of desirable interests or conversations.
This does not mean joining in in a patronising or condescending way or doing things that are really unpleasant for us.
It simply means that sometimes we need to recognise ways in which making more of an effort would benefit our lives.
Showing willing and joining in can be a very gracious way of demonstrating the desire to support others and is a useful exercise in co-operation and compromise.
Let us look at some ways to successfully join in with others: - Keep some independence.
Agree to participate, go along to activities, but take your own car so that you keep an independent means of arriving and leaving to suit you.
This can be a good way of feeling less trapped as you have some choice over time.
This freedom can take the pressure off which often results in staying longer than initially anticipated and having a more relaxed and enjoyable time.
Also by driving, it means that you do not drink alcohol and that is a good way of keeping a clear head.
- Watch popular television shows occasionally.
See them often enough to be aware of the storyline and know what everyone else is talking about.
That way you can contribute with an opinion, share the joke and feel more a part of everyday conversations.
Being completely unaware of popular culture can appear a little aloof or detached.
Whilst this is often not the case there is still some benefit to occasionally being in touch with popular matters, rather than appearing completely out of touch.
- Keep up to date with current affairs.
Read the editorial in a good quality newspaper.
Often the weekend editions have comprehensive and interesting features on the latest news items.
Or watch a good documentary so that you keep posted on what is happening in the world.
This again enables you to contribute to conversations intelligently.
- Accept invitations.
If there is a group activity, the cinema, a meal, a sports event, try to go along.
Or even a birthday party or trip that may not sound initially to be to your taste but that can introduce you to other people.
And, who knows, you may even end up having a surprisingly nice time.
Often the best times are the ones that started out with no expectations.
- Reciprocate.
Suggest activities that may be of interest and try to organise an outing.
Notice if there is a new reasonably priced venue just opening, or something that several people have expressed an interest in.
Many areas have free exhibitions and events that are of interest and can be incorporated into an evening out with a drink or a meal afterwards.
- Listen and try to help.
Pay attention if someone needs help in an area that you have contacts in.
You may be able to recommend a person or make an introduction that can really help a colleague.
That is a positive way of demonstrating commitment and loyalty to the people in your circle.