Those who understand domestic violence know the chances of victims getting into another abusive relationship once they leave their first abusive relationship are very great.
I have seen this many times over the years.
Without help the cycle will continue.
While running a group for battered women one client began talking excitedly about her new relationship.
With my understanding of domestic violence, I reminded the client to be careful and to take her new relationship slow.
She hardly paid attention as she replied that this new partner was different from the last.
I told her that was great, but she should still take her time.
She seemed to hear the words, but not the message.
Months passed without the client's return to group.
Then, one day after the group was under way, she showed up.
The other participants in the group gasped.
The first thing they saw was her very bruised and battered face.
Staying calm, I asked her what happened.
Her immediate reply was, "You were right; he was just like my ex.
" Oftentimes, people who leave abusive relationships are under the impression that once they leave their partner, the future will change.
However, in order to break the cycle of abuse some form of help is necessary or the likelihood of a successful relationship is slim.
This is because, in all honesty, we take ourselves with us wherever we go.
We take our thoughts and patterns of behavior with us.
Furthermore, we take the beliefs about how deserving we are of the relationships we say we desire.
If we do not feel deserving, we will attract people who will reflect those beliefs back at us.
There are those who say batterers are the problem.
But the Law of Attraction teaches us that batterers and victims attract each other.
Yes, batterers need to face the consequences of their actions.
And while victims often need to leave in order to be safe, leaving, alone, does not guarantee the victim will not fall into another abusive relationship.
Thus, stepping out of an abusive relationship is not enough.
Unless the victim changes their level of energy by getting help to change the way they see themselves, and learning to value themselves, they will continue to attract the same kind of partner.
Even those who leave an abusive partner and never get into another intimate relationship can still attract abuse.
They attract abuse from doctors, lawyers, and bosses, or other people they work with who are in positions of power.
There are a number of clients I have worked with who have experienced this.
Ultimately, if you are in this situation, it is important that you work on your Self.
If you aren't meeting people who treat you well, then you need to get help to break the cycle.
You can do this by attending support groups or getting counseling with a domestic violence counselor.
There must be a determination on your part to change your life.
You also have to come to the realization that you do not have to live with physical, verbal, or emotional abuse.
As you do the work you will begin to understand, and then come to know that you deserve to be loved and treated well -- not only by your partner, but first and foremost, by you.
It is then that you can attract the kind of loving relationship you deserve.
If you are in need of help, please do not hesitate to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
I have seen this many times over the years.
Without help the cycle will continue.
While running a group for battered women one client began talking excitedly about her new relationship.
With my understanding of domestic violence, I reminded the client to be careful and to take her new relationship slow.
She hardly paid attention as she replied that this new partner was different from the last.
I told her that was great, but she should still take her time.
She seemed to hear the words, but not the message.
Months passed without the client's return to group.
Then, one day after the group was under way, she showed up.
The other participants in the group gasped.
The first thing they saw was her very bruised and battered face.
Staying calm, I asked her what happened.
Her immediate reply was, "You were right; he was just like my ex.
" Oftentimes, people who leave abusive relationships are under the impression that once they leave their partner, the future will change.
However, in order to break the cycle of abuse some form of help is necessary or the likelihood of a successful relationship is slim.
This is because, in all honesty, we take ourselves with us wherever we go.
We take our thoughts and patterns of behavior with us.
Furthermore, we take the beliefs about how deserving we are of the relationships we say we desire.
If we do not feel deserving, we will attract people who will reflect those beliefs back at us.
There are those who say batterers are the problem.
But the Law of Attraction teaches us that batterers and victims attract each other.
Yes, batterers need to face the consequences of their actions.
And while victims often need to leave in order to be safe, leaving, alone, does not guarantee the victim will not fall into another abusive relationship.
Thus, stepping out of an abusive relationship is not enough.
Unless the victim changes their level of energy by getting help to change the way they see themselves, and learning to value themselves, they will continue to attract the same kind of partner.
Even those who leave an abusive partner and never get into another intimate relationship can still attract abuse.
They attract abuse from doctors, lawyers, and bosses, or other people they work with who are in positions of power.
There are a number of clients I have worked with who have experienced this.
Ultimately, if you are in this situation, it is important that you work on your Self.
If you aren't meeting people who treat you well, then you need to get help to break the cycle.
You can do this by attending support groups or getting counseling with a domestic violence counselor.
There must be a determination on your part to change your life.
You also have to come to the realization that you do not have to live with physical, verbal, or emotional abuse.
As you do the work you will begin to understand, and then come to know that you deserve to be loved and treated well -- not only by your partner, but first and foremost, by you.
It is then that you can attract the kind of loving relationship you deserve.
If you are in need of help, please do not hesitate to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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