Motherhood begins with the realization that you want to become a mother, that you want to have a little angel to cuddle, a little devil to chase around, a grumpy teenager who hates your every word, an indifferent adult who will only remember you during special days.
It does not end with death, it cannot be measured in terms of how much or how long because to be a mother is to transcend all bounds, even death itself.
A mother will never be forgotten no matter how long she has ceased to exist.
To be a mother is to be eternal.
Others may say that it would be better to forget ones own mother if that mother is not a good mother, if you have experienced only pain and rejection in the arms of that mother.
I don't believe that.
Your mother will always be your mother and nothing can change that fact.
You may not want your mother but you will always need her, no matter how much you think you hate her.
There will always be that hidden compartment in your heart that will always yearn for her touch, her voice, her love.
It won't matter whether you'll be able to experience those things, that yearning will always be there, it may be hidden deep in the dark recesses of your heart, dusty and forgotten but it will always be there.
Ready to burst out at the slightest recognition from you.
It will hurt you like nothing you have ever experienced but it will make you whole.
I used to hate my mother with a vehemence that is too strong for words, I tried my best not to see her or talk to her with everything that I have.
I hated her for giving birth to me, I hated her for the person I had become, I hated her with all my heart.
She never seemed to understand me, or to care for me much less love me.
I hated her and I regret that part of my life with as much vehemence.
If only I could erase a single part of my life, it would be the part where I hated her.
I never really understood my mother before I became a mother.
I am only thankful that my realization did not come too late.
If it did, I would carry it for the rest of my life, I would remember it every time I look at my daughter's trusting face.
I love my mother, I always have even during those years of hating her.
My love for her has always been there, I just didn't want to acknowledge it.
And yes, I am not proud of that fact.
I was stubborn, hard-hearted, cruel even and she was just there doing nothing, hoping that someday I'll finally open my eyes.
I love my mother and now I know why she was so strict with me, now I know why she always nagged me about my grades or why she tried her hardest to take me away from the man I thought I loved.
It was to make me into a better person, to make me proud of my achievements and to make me realized that I made a poor choice which led me to the wonderful man I am with today.
I am my mother's daughter and I am proud of that fact.
I will always be proud of that fact and I am hoping that someday when my daughter goes through the phase of hating me she will realize that she actually loves me before it is too late.
I pity those sons and daughters who realized only too late.
They will forever carry that pain in their hearts and during the loneliest and saddest times of their lives, they will yearn for the mother that they thought they hated with all their hearts.
Motherhood is not all happiness, it carries with it a big responsibility and a huge possibility of rejection.
To be a mother is to shed a vast amount of tears enough to fill an ocean, to accept enough barbs to rival a huge porcupine, to extend enough patience to embrace the universe and beyond.
But being a mother also means laughter extravaganza, love and kisses to fill all boxes in the world to overflowing, hugs galore and so much more.
It is not easy to be a mother, but the rewards more than make up for every tear you will shed.
No, It is not easy being a mother...