I'm overhauling my website - at last! I've needed to for quite some time, but it takes time to do it.
It also takes getting updated photos of myself so that people won't be so puzzled when they actually see me in the flesh at some conference and wonder, "who is that guy speaking - I thought we hired Ken Wallace!" My wife took dozens of photos of me one afternoon in all poses and from all angles - trying to discover my "good side.
" Perhaps I'm like you in that I don't like having my picture taken.
I think it's because I feel I have to be "just right" in the way I appear and that anything else - that is, the way I would look in an unguarded "candid shot" - wouldn't be good enough.
Such a non-posed photo might show me in an uncomposed state - and that would be close to catastrophic because it might show who I really am and not who I want others to think I am.
Well, as I was going through all the pictures my wife had taken, I discovered something profound.
I didn't look at all "posed" or forced or artificial or unnatural.
The more I looked at myself in those photos the more I realized that the "me" others were seeing was not what I thought I was projecting to them.
They were seeing the real me no matter what I was trying to project and no matter what I was doing inside my head to craft an image I wanted others to see.
The longer I looked at the pictures of myself the more I began to see myself not in terms of my own self-image but rather as others see me.
This gave me a sense of freedom from my narrow self-image and from my exhausting efforts to act in precise ways that would gain approval, acceptance and accolades from others.
This is something you can do, too.
You don't even have to have pictures taken of yourself to do this.
You can simply do it in "real time" by looking at yourself in a mirror without doing anything to yourself, like applying make-up, shaving or brushing your hair or your teeth, etc.
Just spend five minutes (which will feel like an eternity) gazing into your own eyes and studying yourself from different angles.
Do not judge yourself by any measure or standard.
Just look deeply and without pretense or fear.
Do this at least twice weekly.
Many of us have been raised to believe that looking too often or too long at yourself in a mirror indicates that you're self-centered, prideful and conceited.
This my be true for some of us all the time and all of us some of the time.
However, there is something very beneficial to be gained by doing this.
What you will discover is that you'll begin to appreciate yourself as you would another person in your life, one whom you have good reason to appreciate.
You will see yourself as a person "outside" yourself, external to your inner anxieties, stresses, fears and apprehensions.
You will begin to appreciate your worthiness to exist as a living person without having to justify your existence with mental positioning, posturing and posing.
You will see the plain, unvarnished truth of yourself and this truth will set you free from yourself.
Physically look at yourself without any internal agenda or preconceived intentionality and you will see yourself - and others - in a whole new light of gratitude, freedom and joy.
It also takes getting updated photos of myself so that people won't be so puzzled when they actually see me in the flesh at some conference and wonder, "who is that guy speaking - I thought we hired Ken Wallace!" My wife took dozens of photos of me one afternoon in all poses and from all angles - trying to discover my "good side.
" Perhaps I'm like you in that I don't like having my picture taken.
I think it's because I feel I have to be "just right" in the way I appear and that anything else - that is, the way I would look in an unguarded "candid shot" - wouldn't be good enough.
Such a non-posed photo might show me in an uncomposed state - and that would be close to catastrophic because it might show who I really am and not who I want others to think I am.
Well, as I was going through all the pictures my wife had taken, I discovered something profound.
I didn't look at all "posed" or forced or artificial or unnatural.
The more I looked at myself in those photos the more I realized that the "me" others were seeing was not what I thought I was projecting to them.
They were seeing the real me no matter what I was trying to project and no matter what I was doing inside my head to craft an image I wanted others to see.
The longer I looked at the pictures of myself the more I began to see myself not in terms of my own self-image but rather as others see me.
This gave me a sense of freedom from my narrow self-image and from my exhausting efforts to act in precise ways that would gain approval, acceptance and accolades from others.
This is something you can do, too.
You don't even have to have pictures taken of yourself to do this.
You can simply do it in "real time" by looking at yourself in a mirror without doing anything to yourself, like applying make-up, shaving or brushing your hair or your teeth, etc.
Just spend five minutes (which will feel like an eternity) gazing into your own eyes and studying yourself from different angles.
Do not judge yourself by any measure or standard.
Just look deeply and without pretense or fear.
Do this at least twice weekly.
Many of us have been raised to believe that looking too often or too long at yourself in a mirror indicates that you're self-centered, prideful and conceited.
This my be true for some of us all the time and all of us some of the time.
However, there is something very beneficial to be gained by doing this.
What you will discover is that you'll begin to appreciate yourself as you would another person in your life, one whom you have good reason to appreciate.
You will see yourself as a person "outside" yourself, external to your inner anxieties, stresses, fears and apprehensions.
You will begin to appreciate your worthiness to exist as a living person without having to justify your existence with mental positioning, posturing and posing.
You will see the plain, unvarnished truth of yourself and this truth will set you free from yourself.
Physically look at yourself without any internal agenda or preconceived intentionality and you will see yourself - and others - in a whole new light of gratitude, freedom and joy.
Source...