The most challenging phase of labor is named transition. It is that moment whennature totally has its way with the woman giving a new life to the world, when the womb forces the emerging being from within the safe darkness, down into the birth canal. The pain is at its most intense, and a authority that cannot be resisted has its grip on the mother. She must yield herself to God, and to her helpers, and breathe this new life into the world.

We sometimes find ourselves in transitions in life. Our agony can seem unendurable, and the process continues, impervious to our efforts to ease it. With no other option, we call out to our God, and we fall on the helping hands that hold us up. And miraculously, we live through it, and the new self we are struggling to breathe into existence, emerges.

Never did I dream that at my age I would face the enduring of such events, or make such drastic changes in my life. However, in the midst of this grief, and amidst these irretrievable losses, doors are opening.

I remember my treasured grandmother, and the gentle ladies her age. Were in a member of her generation, becoming an old woman would be drawing very near and, settling in at home, and winding down my responsibilities. I gaze down at my hands, and I see the physical signs of age. But I sense my spirit, and know that I remain...just me.

Much of what I loved best in this world was lost in this last year, and that which I drew on to name me. Some of those dearest to me in all the world are now gone. But I stood the test. I stood at the crossroads, and I chose to keep going forward, to redefine myself not by my losses, but by my courage to come back to life. The Holy Mother remained by my side through this transition murmuring, that she too, lost.

I have understood, with God's loving help, that we reclaim our life by giving our life away. I know I have much yet to give, much yet to receive. Last year, I had the great blessing to spend six precious months in the amazing country of Romania. Little did I understand then, that that time, and those cherished souls I met there, would turn out to be God's gift of grace to get me through this dark time. Romania calls and I return now at last to satisfy a hope of becoming a part of these precious people's lives. By August I willbe back in my beloved Romania, sitting with my dear friend, and eating our dinner together...sharing the simple pleasures of mamaliga and goat cheese, and maybe if I am lucky, a little tuica.

I must honor my beloved son David, who walks the road less traveled, and who has been a brick in my foundation for his whole life. Dave you are a true human being; you bless me with the most honest, most powerful, purest love any human being has ever had bestowed upon them. You are a guiding light for me, now and for always. I would not have come through intact, were it not for you