Next to finances, the number one killer of any relationship is communication...
or the lack of it.
Usually what will happen is one spouse will begin to take the other for granted, especially if they have been married for some time, and will start to "tune the other spouse out.
" The expression, "The honeymoon is over after one year" comes to my mind.
When communication becomes a major issue, it can become a stumbling block to a healthy relationship.
First comes the silence, then one spouse will want to start talking and addressing any real issues they might be facing, but will be ignored in favor of the ball game on TV, or some other issues.
Then comes begging and pleading, which leads to threats and finally, yelling matches.
If this sounds like your relationship, there are things that you can do to work together towards resolving this vicious cycle of destruction in your relationship.
Here we are going to discuss some of the things you can do when dealing with the issues of an emotional spouse.
Start by trying to break that vicious cycle.
If you usually yell at each other and get angry when trying to discuss sensitive issues, try doing the opposite.
Lower your voice, remain calm and soothing.
Chances are, this will throw off the heat of your spouse's argument, allowing the two of you to actually talk about these issues instead of yelling about them.
Instead of trying to talk about sensitive issues, try writing your feelings about it down on paper, or even an email.
This way, your feelings can come out uninterrupted and without the benefit of sparks flying from the emotional spouse.
You don't want to talk about resolutions, just address the existence of an issue or issues, then ask if you both can agree to talk quietly and without the usually fanfare of emotions, so that you can resolve matters together.
Sometimes, instead if a note, letter or email asking to talk, it is better to get your spouse's attention in an unusual way, such as a humorous greeting card or a small gift.
In the card or a note attached to the gift, you can make a request to meet and discuss issues that are bothering you, such as over dinner or lunch, or just a quiet walk in the park.
Notice with that last tip I said to discuss things in public areas, but privately.
In other words, you don't want to be in an area where you are the center of attention.
A quiet table for two at a restaurant, or an area of a park where no one is around.
You don't need anyone else involved in your discussion.
These are some tips to get you started in working with your emotional spouse, so that you can begin the healing process and get to the heart of the matter, which is the harmony of your hearts.
or the lack of it.
Usually what will happen is one spouse will begin to take the other for granted, especially if they have been married for some time, and will start to "tune the other spouse out.
" The expression, "The honeymoon is over after one year" comes to my mind.
When communication becomes a major issue, it can become a stumbling block to a healthy relationship.
First comes the silence, then one spouse will want to start talking and addressing any real issues they might be facing, but will be ignored in favor of the ball game on TV, or some other issues.
Then comes begging and pleading, which leads to threats and finally, yelling matches.
If this sounds like your relationship, there are things that you can do to work together towards resolving this vicious cycle of destruction in your relationship.
Here we are going to discuss some of the things you can do when dealing with the issues of an emotional spouse.
Start by trying to break that vicious cycle.
If you usually yell at each other and get angry when trying to discuss sensitive issues, try doing the opposite.
Lower your voice, remain calm and soothing.
Chances are, this will throw off the heat of your spouse's argument, allowing the two of you to actually talk about these issues instead of yelling about them.
Instead of trying to talk about sensitive issues, try writing your feelings about it down on paper, or even an email.
This way, your feelings can come out uninterrupted and without the benefit of sparks flying from the emotional spouse.
You don't want to talk about resolutions, just address the existence of an issue or issues, then ask if you both can agree to talk quietly and without the usually fanfare of emotions, so that you can resolve matters together.
Sometimes, instead if a note, letter or email asking to talk, it is better to get your spouse's attention in an unusual way, such as a humorous greeting card or a small gift.
In the card or a note attached to the gift, you can make a request to meet and discuss issues that are bothering you, such as over dinner or lunch, or just a quiet walk in the park.
Notice with that last tip I said to discuss things in public areas, but privately.
In other words, you don't want to be in an area where you are the center of attention.
A quiet table for two at a restaurant, or an area of a park where no one is around.
You don't need anyone else involved in your discussion.
These are some tips to get you started in working with your emotional spouse, so that you can begin the healing process and get to the heart of the matter, which is the harmony of your hearts.
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