Marriage Advice On Things No One Told Me - 7 Things You Should Know
It has been declared a shame that the human brain - the most complex thing found in the known universe - does not come with an owner's manual.
You would think it would have one! And, many people have said the same thing about children: parents would love it if their children came with a user manual that was custom-designed for that child.
There is something else in life that is complicated, very important, and often comes with a number of tough challenges: marriage.
It would be great if we all had the opportunity to take a class or even earn a degree in how to remain happily-married.
But alas, most of us barely have the time in the day to earn a living, study, or otherwise do what we need to do just get by.
Still, there is a lot of collective wisdom out there held by people who have been (usually) happily married for years or even decades.
If you are saying to yourself, "I am looking for marriage advice on things that no one told me," here are 7 things you should know: 1.
Having problems in a relationship is 100% normal: Every person who has ever been married - and there have been quite a few of us throughout history - has sometimes felt frustrated with their spouse.
Yes, problems are inherent in every marriage.
So, do not get down on yourself or your spouse if you encounter some issues now and again.
And, realize that there may be some things about your husband or wife that will always bother you and that you will just have to learn to live with.
2.
The key to success in marriage is knowing how and when to pick your battles: Those among us who are always striving for marital perfection may sometimes feel the desire to constantly try to "course correct" our spouses in small or large ways.
This is a definite mistake.
Instead, learn to pick your battles.
This means: know when to stand strong on a particular point and when to just allow it to roll off your back.
3.
Be careful about how you vent about your spouse to your friends: When you are feeling frustrated with your husband or wife, you may be tempted to share your woes with friends.
Be careful about doing this.
Once your spat with your spouse is over, your friend will retain the memory about what you said for a long time.
You could end up poisoning the waters that you have to swim in.
4.
Find ways to make each other laugh: Maintaining a good sense of humor in marriage is very important.
Find ways to laugh at life now and again with each other.
In doing so, you will strengthen your bond.
5.
When the chips are down, have each other's back: In your marriage, there will come times when you feel like the world is against one or both of you.
During these times, in particular, you need to set down any differences you have with your spouse and back him or her up.
This is called maintaining a united front.
6.
Once a week do at least one unexpectedly nice thing for your spouse: Surprise is one of the spices of life, while maintaining the same old habits day in and day out kills the joy in marriages.
Try doing something unexpectedly nice for your spouse at least once per week.
7.
Sometimes, getting outside advice is needed: If you find that some of your troubles seem very serious or you just cannot seem to get past them on your own, understand that it is okay and in fact encouraged for you to seek outside counsel and input about how to make things right again.
Consider these 7 things you should know about maintaining a healthy and happy marriage.
You would think it would have one! And, many people have said the same thing about children: parents would love it if their children came with a user manual that was custom-designed for that child.
There is something else in life that is complicated, very important, and often comes with a number of tough challenges: marriage.
It would be great if we all had the opportunity to take a class or even earn a degree in how to remain happily-married.
But alas, most of us barely have the time in the day to earn a living, study, or otherwise do what we need to do just get by.
Still, there is a lot of collective wisdom out there held by people who have been (usually) happily married for years or even decades.
If you are saying to yourself, "I am looking for marriage advice on things that no one told me," here are 7 things you should know: 1.
Having problems in a relationship is 100% normal: Every person who has ever been married - and there have been quite a few of us throughout history - has sometimes felt frustrated with their spouse.
Yes, problems are inherent in every marriage.
So, do not get down on yourself or your spouse if you encounter some issues now and again.
And, realize that there may be some things about your husband or wife that will always bother you and that you will just have to learn to live with.
2.
The key to success in marriage is knowing how and when to pick your battles: Those among us who are always striving for marital perfection may sometimes feel the desire to constantly try to "course correct" our spouses in small or large ways.
This is a definite mistake.
Instead, learn to pick your battles.
This means: know when to stand strong on a particular point and when to just allow it to roll off your back.
3.
Be careful about how you vent about your spouse to your friends: When you are feeling frustrated with your husband or wife, you may be tempted to share your woes with friends.
Be careful about doing this.
Once your spat with your spouse is over, your friend will retain the memory about what you said for a long time.
You could end up poisoning the waters that you have to swim in.
4.
Find ways to make each other laugh: Maintaining a good sense of humor in marriage is very important.
Find ways to laugh at life now and again with each other.
In doing so, you will strengthen your bond.
5.
When the chips are down, have each other's back: In your marriage, there will come times when you feel like the world is against one or both of you.
During these times, in particular, you need to set down any differences you have with your spouse and back him or her up.
This is called maintaining a united front.
6.
Once a week do at least one unexpectedly nice thing for your spouse: Surprise is one of the spices of life, while maintaining the same old habits day in and day out kills the joy in marriages.
Try doing something unexpectedly nice for your spouse at least once per week.
7.
Sometimes, getting outside advice is needed: If you find that some of your troubles seem very serious or you just cannot seem to get past them on your own, understand that it is okay and in fact encouraged for you to seek outside counsel and input about how to make things right again.
Consider these 7 things you should know about maintaining a healthy and happy marriage.
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