Too many divorced dads are deathly afraid of the dreaded "N-word".
I don't mean the "N-word" that gets your face plastered on network TV and brands you a racist for the rest of your breathing days.
I'm talking about a much simpler "N-word"...
the word "No".
Most of us get a minority of time with our kids, so our natural inclination is to use the time we have to indulge every whim.
"Daddy, can I have a cell phone?" "You're only 4!" "But Bianca has one!" "Okay.
" "Daddy, can I have ice cream?" "You've already had cookies and cake, and you never finished your dinner.
" "Mommy would let me!" "Okay.
" "Dad, can my friends and I drink here before the prom?" "Of course not! You're only 15!" "If you cared about my safety, you would let us.
" "Okay.
" Trust me, I understand that tug you feel to give in to your kids even though you know it's not the best decision.
And the tug is even stronger when you know their mom would let them.
But you have to resist the urge! Learn to say "No" to your kids.
"No" is not a curse word.
In fact, it's a curse if you DON'T say "No" to your kids.
Your job is to teach them responsibility, problem-solving, and self-reliance.
They won't learn any of those things when you cave to every request or demand.
They don't like it? Tough luck for them.
They'll just play you against your ex when you won't let them do something? So be it...
you'll be the better parent.
They'll throw a monster tantrum when they don't get their way? That's life.
Eventually, they'll learn that you set boundaries that can't be compromised.
Never be afraid to use the "N-word" with your kids.
Later on, maybe they'll even thank you for it.